In both modern society and ancient times, there have been many cases of extramarital affairs that have caused different tragedies. Ancient Chinese women, whether they were noble ladies, princesses, or ordinary women, often carried a pillow with them when meeting their lovers. This action was not random but had its own reasons.
Why did ancient women often carry a pillow when having an affair?
According to Chinese historians, there are three main reasons why ancient women carried a pillow when having an affair. The first reason is that the pillow symbolizes a tragic love story where two individuals who love each other cannot be together, even being mentioned in famous romantic poems. That is the love story between Tao Shu and his brother’s wife, Chan Shi.
Tao Shu was a prince of the Tào Ngụy dynasty during the era of the Three Kingdoms in Chinese history. He was the son of Tào Tháo and the younger brother of Tào Phi. Although not famous, Tao Shu was considered a genius in poetry. He was also the author of the famous poem “Cảm Chân Phú” (later renamed “Lạc Thần Phú”).
In this poem, Tao Shu mentioned Chan Shi, a woman he secretly loved but could never be with because she was the wife of his brother, Tào Phi. Although both felt affection for each other, being together would cause chaos and have no solution.
The second reason is that the pillow is a crucial item for women and their lovers during secret affairs. These complicated relationships often take place in remote and dark places during the evening. Carrying a pillow makes the couple feel more comfortable and convenient in intimate moments, avoiding trouble or inconvenience. This also shows that women are cautious, caring, and able to plan.
The third reason is that this pillow is often called an “affair pillow,” symbolizing the love between a woman and her lover. Ancient Chinese women would give their lovers a special gift that represents their affection. It could be a necklace, a bracelet, a ring, or even an affair pillow.
One of the ancient Chinese women who gave an affair pillow to her lover was Princess Cao Yang, the daughter of Emperor Tang Li Shi Dan. Princess Cao Yang was known for her beauty and talent and was loved by Emperor Tang Li. She was married to the second son of the Prime Minister Feng Xuan Ling and Feng Di Ai.
However, the marriage between Princess Cao Yang and Feng Di Ai was not happy because they had contrasting personalities. Princess Cao Yang always felt unhappy and had no affection for her husband. One day, while strolling, she met a monk named Bian Cơ. His elegance and handsomeness captivated Princess Cao Yang. From then on, they started a secret relationship, disregarding the rules and social taboos.
During that time, Princess Cao Yang gave Bian Cơ an affair pillow as a symbol of their love. Unfortunately, the pillow was later stolen and confiscated by the authorities. The pillow was considered valuable and believed to belong to a noble person, but the thief claimed to have taken it from a monk.
After investigating, their illicit affair was discovered. Emperor Tang Li became furious and ordered the execution of Bian Cơ and ten servants, while Princess Cao Yang was punished for covering up the affair. In the end, their supposed love pillow became evidence of the affair, resulting in them being separated forever.