Food & Receipts

4 Habits of Mothers That May Stifle Their Child’s Development

Have you ever wondered why your child isn't meeting your expectations? You may be inadvertently making some common parenting mistakes.

Administrator

1 September, 2024

Children are born with an innate instinct to seek support and protection from their mothers. Those who exhibit optimistic and positive personalities will have a solid foundation for a happy life, although they may not necessarily become hugely successful. However, this determining factor indicates that a mother’s parenting style can profoundly influence her child’s character development.

Young children are highly impressionable by their mother’s behavior, words, and even mood. The habits formed by mothers during a child’s early years can significantly shape their future behavior and personality. For example, if a child lacks positive living habits, gives up easily in the face of challenges, or develops an introverted personality, the root cause may lie in the mother’s parenting style and interaction.

Here are four habits that mothers should be mindful of to create a positive and supportive environment for their children’s development. Without attention to these, a mother’s efforts may be in vain, and it will be challenging to help her children become capable individuals who can shine in life.

Parents make promises they don’t keep

In modern society, many parents find themselves in embarrassing situations due to their children’s actions. A mother, when invited to a dinner by friends, might excuse herself by saying she’s busy taking her child out during the weekend. However, her son chimes in: “Auntie, my mom never takes me out, it’s always like this.”

In adult relationships, white lies sometimes occur with good intentions. But when dealing with young children, this should never happen! If you’ve committed to buying something for your child, it’s best to keep your promise or simply not make irresponsible promises in the first place.

In reality, parents who frequently lie are more likely to raise children with the same habit. If you want your children to be honest, start by reflying yourself. This will not only build trust but also create a healthy living environment where children can learn positive values from their parents.

Sacrificing everything for the child

In folk culture, there’s a famous saying: “All for the child.” Many mothers, especially from older generations, have lived by this maxim while raising their children.

When children are young, parental love is expressed through dedicated care and physical and mental sacrifices. Even when the children grow up and start their own families, these mothers continue to support them, from helping with grandchild care to daily household chores. Their lives seem to revolve only around their children’s needs.

However, raising children through such sacrifices can lead to unintended consequences. Many children grow up unaware of the value of sacrifice, taking it for granted. Sometimes, this can also make them overly dependent on their parents and lacking in self-reliance.

Everyone has their unique journey to discover and develop. A mother can give her child life, but she shouldn’t live that life for them or experience it in their stead. If all the pains and joys of life are filtered and protected by the mother, the child will not grasp life’s true nature.

We must remember that love for a child needs to be expressed subtly, without hindering their life experiences. Let your child face challenges and explore life on their own, as an essential part of growing up.

Frequently comparing your child to others

In Asian culture, comparing children to others is a prevalent phenomenon. Many parents tend to adhere to social standards, so they often draw comparisons between their children and the children of neighbors or friends in terms of academic performance, physical abilities, or extracurricular activities.

When they find that their friends’ children are attending talent development classes, some parents immediately decide to enroll their children too, without considering their actual interests. This not only creates immense pressure for the children but also takes away their voice and personal choice in self-development.

Moreover, the competitive pressure from these comparisons can lead to a lack of self-confidence and stress for the children. Those who are constantly pushed to outperform others gradually lose sight of the initial purpose of learning, turning it into a race rather than a journey of self-discovery and growth. They may become dominated by the thought of being “better than” and forget the true value of education – equipping themselves with knowledge and skills applicable to life.

Obviously, this situation affects not only their psychology but also their ability to put their learned knowledge into practice. For children to develop holistically and confidently, it’s essential for parents to realize that comparisons can be hurtful and that they should encourage their children to pursue their passions rather than compete with others.

Excessive control over every aspect of the child’s life

Many parents, especially mothers, tend to exert tight control and set stringent criteria to evaluate their children’s behavior. They often equate obedience with correctness in their children’s actions.

When children fail to meet their parents’ expectations, their behavior is immediately labeled as “defiance.” These mothers often neglect their children’s emotions and thoughts, focusing solely on their desires and needs.

They tend to impose their views on every aspect of their children’s lives, from minor matters like dress style to significant decisions like school choice or career path. Such control turns the children into “puppets,” denying them the chance to live their own lives.

In reality, when parents notice unhealthy habits in their children, they should take time to self-reflect on their behavior and approach. Mothers, in particular, have a profound influence on their children. Sometimes, to bring about positive change in their children, parents need to start by changing themselves.

The journey of accompanying your child’s growth and development is an effective and nurturing approach, enabling them to explore the world in their unique way, rather than merely mirroring their parents.

Frequently asked questions

The four habits mentioned in the article are: 1) Over-protection and inhibition of exploration, 2) Not allowing children to make mistakes and experience failure, 3) Doing things for children that they can do themselves, and 4) Not setting boundaries and rules, leading to a lack of discipline.

While it may stem from good intentions, over-protection can hinder a child’s ability to explore and take risks. This may result in children becoming fearful, anxious, and lacking in confidence when facing new situations or challenges.

Experiencing failure and making mistakes are essential parts of learning and developing resilience. By shielding children from failure, parents may inadvertently prevent them from learning how to cope with adversity and build mental strength.

Doing everything for children can hinder their sense of independence and self-efficacy. It is important for children to develop a sense of agency and learn that they have the ability to influence their environment and accomplish tasks on their own.

Setting clear boundaries and rules is crucial for children’s development. It helps them understand expectations, develop self-control, and learn to regulate their behavior. A lack of discipline can lead to difficulties with impulse control, delayed gratification, and respecting authority.