The EQ-Savvy Mom’s Guide to Conversations: What Not to Share About Your Child

Experts advise that there are three things about their children that mothers should not be quick to share with others.

Refrain from discussing your child’s undecided matters

There are numerous possibilities for the future, and many things that children have not yet decided on. For instance, a child may be deciding between universities A, B, or C. Sharing this information too soon can create unnecessary pressure.

Mothers need to understand that the decision-making process for children is often complex. They need time to consider and reflect on their options, balancing their interests, abilities, and future career prospects. Sharing undecided matters too early can make children feel pressured, burdened, and anxious.

Refrain from discussing matters your child hasn’t decided on yet.

Moreover, decisions about the future can change over time as children mature and gain more experience. Therefore, sharing undecided matters with those around you can lead to misunderstandings and even unwanted comments from others.

Instead of rushing to share, mothers should create space and time for their children to think, consider, and experiment with their choices. When children have made their decisions, sharing becomes more natural and appropriate. In doing so, mothers not only respect their children’s decision-making process but also help them develop the ability to make independent and autonomous decisions in the future.

Avoid boasting about your child’s academic results and performance

Many children do not like others gossiping about their academic results. However, many parents feel the need to brag about their children’s excellent academic performance.

But this may not be a good idea. Firstly, constantly boasting about academic achievements can put immense pressure on children.

Children may feel the need to study hard to maintain this “honor,” even beyond their capacity. Prolonged exposure to such high pressure can affect their physical and mental health, leading to discouragement and even a fear of learning.

Constantly boasting about academic achievements can put pressure on children.

Additionally, comparing children can lead to unhealthy competition. When other children hear about their peers’ achievements, it can spark feelings of inferiority and jealousy, negatively impacting the friendly relationships within the class.

Finally, constantly boasting about a child’s academic performance does not foster the development of correct values. Children may feel that their worth is solely dependent on their grades, neglecting the growth of other qualities and abilities such as kindness, honesty, and courage.

Therefore, parents should approach their children’s academic results and performance with a calm and rational mindset, offering them respect and complete trust.

Keep your child’s personal stories and secrets confidential

Many parents have a habit of retelling their children’s personal stories, intending to entertain or as a joke. However, we must understand that this can significantly impact children’s psychological and emotional development.

When parents share their children’s personal information publicly, even with good intentions, children may feel that their self-respect and privacy have been violated. This can make them a target for ridicule and cause them to lose faith in themselves, leading to the development of complexes.

Keep your child’s personal stories and secrets confidential.

Personal stories, even when shared in an intimate setting, can be very sensitive and impact one’s self-confidence. Therefore, parents must understand that keeping their children’s secrets is the best way to create a trusting and safe environment for their development.

Instead of sharing these stories, parents should focus on building a close relationship with their children, listening to them, and sharing common issues. This will make children feel loved and heard, contributing significantly to their personality and self-confidence formation.