Loan had been married for over a year, and she considered herself lucky to not live with her in-laws. The reason was simple: her in-laws didn’t live in the city, while she and her husband had established their lives there. After over a year of marriage, the couple used their savings to buy a cozy condo to settle down. Although they still owed the bank a sum, with their combined income, they could pay it off in a few years.
Loan had heard stories from friends and others about the challenges of being a daughter-in-law, which made her anxious and gradually av. She was relieved to have her own home, a small nest for just the two of them. Although Loan acknowledged that her mother-in-law was a bit old-fashioned, she didn’t seem harsh.
Occasionally, on their days off, the couple would visit their parents. Their life flowed smoothly and comfortably. Until one day, Loan’s mother-in-law came to visit and stayed with them for a week, which is when Loan realized that not living together was preferable. Living in close proximity inevitably led to conflicts.
The previous week, Loan’s mother-in-law had called, wanting to get a general health check-up as she felt tired, had lost her appetite, and often felt dizzy. Concerned, Loan and her husband invited her to stay with them for a week while they took her to the doctor. The doctor diagnosed her with vestibular disorder and high blood pressure, advising her to rest. Loan’s husband insisted that she stay with them for a while so they could take care of her.
Before, when it was just the two of them, Loan and her husband would often eat out or order takeout. Loan wasn’t much of a cook, so she rarely stepped into the kitchen. But now, with her mother-in-law around, they couldn’t rely on takeout or restaurants all the time. Her mother-in-law didn’t like eating out, so Loan found herself busier than ever, struggling to cook decent meals. Despite her efforts, some meals turned out too salty or bland. Moreover, not knowing her mother-in-law’s taste preferences made Loan feel discouraged when she saw her eating silently.
On top of that, her mother-in-law would occasionally advise her not to be wasteful and to keep the house tidy and neat, and she would give cooking instructions, all of which made Loan feel stressed.
The other day, at the beginning of the lunar month, Loan prepared some offerings for the ancestors. A friend had suggested buying plastic fruit for the altar, as it would last longer and save time. Loan had never paid much attention to these rituals. Growing up, her parents had taken care of such matters, and after her marriage, she and her husband were often too busy to think about it. But with her mother-in-law staying with them, Loan didn’t want to seem irresponsible, so she bought the plastic fruit.
When Loan brought the plastic fruit home and started to wash and prepare it for the altar, her mother-in-law stopped her. Being a very traditional person when it came to ancestor worship, she couldn’t contain her anger.
“How dare you bring this into our home to worship our ancestors? This is disrespectful and could bring punishment upon us! Throw it away immediately!”
“I don’t have time to prepare fresh fruit all the time. These look beautiful and will last longer. It’s the sincerity that counts!” Loan argued.
Seeing her daughter-in-law’s stubbornness, her mother-in-law shook her head and tried to explain:
“I’m not a superstitious person. While it’s true that sincerity is important in worship, we should not offer fake fruit. According to Vietnamese spiritual beliefs, placing artificial fruit on the altar during these occasions is disrespectful to the deities and our ancestors, and it’s also bad for our home’s feng shui. It’s best to choose real fruit with auspicious meanings and a variety of colors for the altar.”
Although Loan didn’t like being lectured by her mother-in-law, she agreed to stop using the plastic fruit. She rushed to the supermarket downstairs and bought some fresh fruit and a box of cookies to place on the altar. Perhaps from now on, she should pay more attention to some of the dos and don’ts of preparing fruit offerings.
What to Avoid When Preparing Fruit Offerings for Ancestor Worship on the 1st and 15th of the Lunar Month, and during Tet Holiday:
1. Using artificial fruit
While artificial fruit is convenient and aesthetically pleasing, it is not suitable for ancestor worship. Placing artificial fruit on the altar during these occasions is considered disrespectful to the deities and ancestors and may bring bad feng shui to the home. Instead, choose real fruit with auspicious meanings and a variety of colors for the traditional five-fruit tray.
2. Displaying wet fruit
Out of caution, some people wash the fruit thoroughly before placing it on the altar. However, if the fruit is still wet, it will spoil quickly. It’s best to completely dry the fruit after washing, as even a small amount of water can cause it to rot. Alternatively, you can gently wipe the fruit with a soft cloth to remove dust and dirt. For grapefruit with discolored or moldy spots, mix some clean lime water and wipe it down to restore its color without leaving moisture or causing the fruit to wilt.
3. Offering fruit with thorns or strong odors
Fruit with sharp thorns, such as jackfruit, durian, and pineapple, are considered taboo on the ancestral altar. Additionally, durian and jackfruit have strong odors. According to traditional beliefs, strong-smelling and sharp objects are not suitable for the sacred space of the altar. When preparing fruit offerings, choose fruit with a mild and refreshing fragrance.
4. Including other food items on the fruit tray
In Vietnamese culture, it is considered disrespectful to place flowers or cookies on the five-fruit tray. Doing so is believed to offend the deities and bring bad luck. Flowers and cookies should be placed next to the fruit tray or on a separate plate.
5. Using overripe fruit
Overripe fruit should also be avoided, as it has a shorter shelf life and can spoil quickly. Many families leave the offerings for 2-3 days before removing them, and overripe fruit is more likely to rot during this time, affecting the sanctity of the altar.
“The Ancient Art of Feng Shui: Unlocking the Secrets of a Harmonious Home”
The living room is the heart of a home, and its design is pivotal to a house’s overall energy and vibe. This space is where families unite, where the auspicious corner invites prosperity and where the ambiance sets the tone for the entire household.
“A Bed Against Two Walls Brings Woes and Tribulations, the Ancients Warned”
“Sleeping in a bed that’s pushed against a wall can bring sickness and misfortune.” So say the ancients, and with good reason. Placing your bed against either of these two walls can create a host of problems that disrupt your sleep. But which two walls are they referring to?
The Golden Week: Unlocking Prosperity with the 3-Year-Old God of Fortune
The final days of the lunar month bring an auspicious time for certain Chinese zodiac signs. With the stars aligned, these lucky signs will find their wishes granted, and abundance will flow their way.
The Lucky Four: Unveiling the Secrets to a Life-Changing Fortune
The Lunar Ninth Month is often regarded as a tumultuous time for one’s destiny. However, for the four lucky ages listed below, this period will be a shining opportunity to attract wealth and unexpected life-changing chances.
The Ultimate Guide to Adorning Yourself with Wealth and Romance: Gold or Pearls, Which is the Superior Choice?
Wearing jewelry the right way not only elevates one’s style and adds a touch of glamour but also holds symbolic meaning and brings good luck, according to ancient beliefs and traditions.
