In folk culture, it is believed that children who bring happiness and joy to their parents’ lives come to repay their debts of gratitude, while those who cause their parents hardship and struggle are seen as seeking retribution. This doesn’t imply that parents don’t love their children who don’t explicitly show gratitude, but rather that those who appear to be demanding are in greater need of their parents’ unconditional love and patience.
From a spiritual perspective, when parents recognize this concept, they may find solace in the belief that having children is a blessing, and regardless of their children’s behavior, they embrace their role as caregivers without resentment.
Children who seem to be repaying their debts of gratitude to their parents often exhibit the following characteristics:
Healthy Appetite and Sleep Patterns
Infants and young children who eat and sleep well are a blessing to their parents, as they require less effort and energy to care for. Caring for a child demands a significant amount of time and energy, and when coupled with a fussy eater or a child who struggles to sleep, it can be incredibly exhausting for parents.
A well-fed and rested child brings joy to parents.
Nutrition and sleep are critical to a child’s development, and when a child eats and sleeps well, it not only benefits the child’s growth but also gives parents a much-needed break. A happy and healthy child brings joy to the entire family, as there’s no greater pleasure than witnessing your child’s vibrant and cheerful presence each day.
Robust Health and Resilience
A healthy child spends most of their time playing and exploring, while a sickly child is often confined to bed rest and a limited daily routine. When a child falls ill, parents’ primary concern is their recovery. Illness can be draining on parents’ energy, finances, and even their careers. It can cause friction in relationships, and the stress of having a sick child can test even the strongest of bonds. Therefore, a healthy child is a source of immense happiness and relief for parents.
Cheerful Disposition and Minimal Tantrums
A child’s smile has the power to melt away any parental fatigue. Children who cry minimally and exhibit cheerful dispositions are often perceived as well-behaved, healthy, and understanding. While all children cry, the frequency and intensity vary. Children who are generally happy, playful, and less demanding tend to be content and capable of self-soothing. These children are typically easier to care for, and their happiness becomes a source of joy for their parents, overshadowing any hardships.
Independent and diligent children bring peace of mind to parents.
Self-Initiative and Independence
Children who exhibit self-initiative and independence are less likely to cause their parents distress and worry. They are not reliant on their parents for every little thing and are less likely to throw tantrums. These children are a source of pride for their parents and give them the confidence to let go a little, knowing their children can handle themselves. This trait also reduces parental anxiety when children are away from home, and fostering independence from an early age contributes to their overall development and growth.
Filial Piety and Consideration
Some children, even from a very young age, display filial piety by always considering their parents. They may offer their food to their parents first or eagerly greet them when they return from work, asking if they are tired and showing genuine concern. There are children who, from their earliest memories, hold their parents’ images close to their hearts.
While a child’s character is largely influenced by parental guidance, upbringing, and education, it’s undeniable that even in families where siblings are raised similarly, their personalities can differ significantly.
Thus, the saying “parents give birth, but heaven determines their nature” rings true. Children who are naturally well-behaved and considerate are a blessing to their parents. Those who don’t exhibit these traits are still loved and cherished but may require more effort and guidance in their upbringing.
Reference: Folk beliefs and personal reflections
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