Pride – Don’t Use Age to Demand Obedience
Mr. Le Thanh, 68, shared, “I used to think that at my age, I had the right to demand that my children listen to me. But after a few times of facing their backlash, I realized that respect cannot be forced; it must come from one’s own self-respect and lifestyle.”
Mr. Thanh’s story is not uncommon. Many elderly people tend to use their seniority and age to coerce their children into obedience, but this can easily make the younger generation feel imposed upon and lacking in space to grow.
Self-respect in the elderly means not imposing, boasting, or complaining excessively. It is about maintaining a calm demeanor, preserving one’s dignity, and being a good listener, which naturally commands the respect of the younger generation. Respect is not determined by your age but by your behavior.
Stay Up-to-Date, Don’t Be “Conservative”
In this rapidly changing era, if the elderly refuse to embrace new things, they will create a distance between themselves and their descendants. Ms. Tran Thi Mai, a 64-year-old from Ho Chi Minh City, has gone from being “technologically illiterate” to using Zalo for video calls and even posting photos on Facebook to monitor her grandson’s online learning.
Ms. Mai shared with Tuoi Tre Online, “At first, I was quite hesitant, but my son said: ‘Mom, when you learn about technology, we feel happy and assured.’ Now, I can even book medical appointments over the phone!”
Staying updated doesn’t mean you have to understand all the latest technology or speak like the youth; it’s about maintaining a curious and open mindset. Instead of hastily judging that “these days, everything is going downhill,” try to understand, ask questions, and accompany them on their journey. When the elderly are willing to learn new things, their descendants feel joyful and more connected, and they are more inclined to share their lives.
Live Lightly and Positively – Don’t Let Negative Energy Affect Your Family
As we age, our health may decline, but that’s why it’s even more important to maintain a positive outlook. An elderly person who constantly complains about their aches and pains and speaks negatively will create a heavy atmosphere for their family.
Ms. Nguyen Thi Hong (42, Hanoi) shared in a VnExpress article, “I admire my mother-in-law for her calm demeanor. Despite her pain, she always smiles and says, ‘It’s nothing serious, dear.’ Every time I visit my hometown, I feel relaxed and peaceful when I’m with her.”
Positivity not only helps older adults live happier lives but also spreads positive energy throughout the family. On the other hand, those who are irritable and complaining will cause their descendants to avoid interacting with them, leading to distance and alienation.
Conclusion: Lead by Example, Don’t Preach
The elderly are respected by their descendants not because of their power or past glory but because of their calmness, understanding, and willingness to take a step back to let the younger generation shine.
When you maintain your self-respect, continue learning, and live positively, your descendants will not only respect you but also want to be close to you and emulate your example.
Aging is a natural process, but being valued and respected by others is a skill. The older we get, the more we should focus on living beautifully and becoming a source of inspiration and respect for our children and grandchildren.
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