A mother’s personality plays an incredibly significant role in shaping her child’s psychology and character. From the very first years of a child’s life, the bond between mother and child not only impacts the child’s emotions but also creates patterns in how the child perceives the world.
A recent survey conducted in China revealed that mothers with positive traits tend to have an easier time successfully raising their children, contributing to the development of strong personalities and mental fortitude in their offspring.
The Resilient Mother: Instilling Positivity
Ellen, Scarlett’s mother in “Gone with the Wind,” is a character who is both tragic and admirable.
In her youth, she fell in love with her cousin, but a tragedy separated them forever. Through the twists and turns of life, Ellen, born into aristocracy, married O’Hara, an older Irish man almost thirty years her senior.
For the first time in her life, she became the wife of a man she did not love, and went from being the adored daughter to the mother of six children.
Despite her circumstances, she remained the ideal figure that her daughter, Scarlett, deeply admired.
Ellen was known for her fairness and kindness, always keeping the house in order and raising her children to be well-behaved and polite. All family members respected and trusted her. To Scarlett, her mother’s spirit always seemed unbreakable, her back unyielding in the face of any hardship. The loss of a child did not bring Ellen to her knees.
On some occasions, she would go out to tend to patients in the middle of the night, yet she would still be at the breakfast table the next morning, right on time.
Ellen’s wisdom and good qualities left a deep impression on Scarlett as she grew up. After her mother’s passing, the family went through major changes, and Scarlett herself became a strong-willed woman with unwavering determination, despite appearing fragile on the outside. She no longer shied away from life’s challenges.
A psychologist once remarked, “Children often reflect what their mother expresses.” Indeed, a mother’s attitude towards life is the first painting a child sees, shaping their perspective on life.
In reality, emotions are highly contagious. A mother brimming with positive energy will create a cheerful atmosphere in the family, profoundly influencing her children’s moods and behaviors.
Growing up in an environment filled with optimism and love, children will learn to perceive life more positively. The mother’s joy and enthusiasm will encourage children to explore the world, bravely face challenges, and readily embrace new opportunities. Children will also easily develop a habit of optimism, confidence, and patience.
Avoid Over-Expectations: Guiding Children Towards Independence
A well-known Chinese documentary filmmaker shared her parents’ reaction to her facing difficulties in life.
As a young woman from Shanghai, she was the only student in her school to apply to universities in Beijing after the entrance exam. After graduating, she decided to stay in Beijing, where she began her career as a field reporter.
Her parents, meanwhile, maintained a “tolerant” attitude, refraining from imposing heavy expectations or interfering with her decisions, thus allowing her the freedom to grow and make her own choices.
Many parents tend to set high standards for their children, be it in academic performance or career success. However, these expectations can create immense psychological pressure, leading to low self-esteem when children feel they cannot meet these expectations.
When under pressure, children may become anxious and lose confidence, taking away the joy of learning and self-discovery. Conversely, a mother who does not expect too much allows her children to develop in a comfortable and free environment.
Instead of solely focusing on the end result, she will encourage her children to find joy and motivation in the learning process itself. This helps children feel more comfortable experimenting and exploring new things, thereby developing independent thinking skills and a more confident outlook on life.
The Selfless Yet Self-Caring Mother: Guiding Through Example
This type of mother is not only loving but also knows when to step back and focus on her own development.
In this context, a mother who does not overly sacrifice herself but instead takes care of herself is a true asset to her children.
A mother who loves and cares for herself serves as a positive role model, creating a healthy living environment. When a mother can set her own goals and pursue her dreams, her children will learn to respect themselves and follow their passions.
Selfless sacrifice is also about choosing the right time and method to intervene. When children face difficulties, a mother can offer helpful advice but should also allow them to find their own solutions. This not only aids their learning but also fosters independence and confidence.
A knowledgeable mother will create opportunities for her children to engage in extracurricular activities, sports, and the arts, thereby encouraging them to explore their potential.
When a mother demonstrates a commitment to self-improvement, children understand the importance of continuous self-development. Small actions, such as reading books, learning new skills, or taking courses, will inspire children to embark on their own personal growth journeys.