5 Mistakes in Parenting That Lead to Dependent, Unempowered Adults

Every parent showers their children with love, but sometimes they make mistakes that enable their children to become dependent.


Anything will do to help the child

When the child is trying to button up their shirt, instead of doing it for them, parents should patiently observe. When the child is engrossed in a puzzle, instead of criticizing them for putting the pieces incorrectly and doing it for them, parents should let the child explore on their own.

Many parents intervene too deeply in their children’s activities, frequently aiding or instructing them without realizing that such actions can hinder the child’s independent development. Parents may think that they are helping and protecting their child, but in reality, they are obstructing opportunities for the child to learn how to explore, discover, and complete tasks independently. Concentration and autonomy can be improved through personal experiences and discoveries.

Therefore, when a child is playing or doing a task, parents should be patient and only provide assistance when truly necessary or when the child requests it. This not only does not waste time but also contributes significantly to nurturing the child’s independence.

Always say “Yes” to your child

A study published on Science Daily in 2013 regarding the relationship between genes and selfish behavior in children showed that excessive indulgence from parents can lead to these children only being concerned about themselves when they grow up. These children often lack empathy, exhibit inappropriate behavior towards others, and have a lack of ethical standards in their work.

In order to nurture a sense of compassion in children, parents need to know when to say “no.” This means not helping the child tidy up, not buying everything the child wants, and not allowing the child to speak or act in negative ways.

Applying consequences to negative behaviors of the child will help them develop cognitive abilities and consider a situation from different perspectives.

Giving children everything without teaching gratitude

When children do something not just to receive rewards but also because they are part of the family, they learn to support others, thereby understanding the value of community and the importance of teamwork.

Children develop gratitude when they do not get everything they desire. Children need to be encouraged to say “Thank you,” even for small gifts that may not be to their liking.

“In our home, there is a whiteboard placed right at the entrance, and children must write down the answer to a fixed question every day before they go out to play. This question is usually related to awareness and expressing gratitude,” shared Dr. Traci Baxley, an education specialist.

Always try to take care of your child to the fullest extent

Many mothers believe that the first 6 years of a child’s life should focus only on their health, promoting them to sleep more and eat adequately. A small sneeze or runny nose can cause a mother to decide to keep the child out of school, even for a whole week, to “ensure” their safety, resulting in frequent absenteeism from school, not having the opportunity to get acquainted or make friends. According to this perspective, sleeping a lot helps children become healthy and intelligent, and meals must have all the necessary nutrients as required by the mother, even if the child has to be forced to eat.

However, this approach may not provide a conducive environment for children to adapt to the school environment. Children will have to start the adaptation process from scratch after each absence, slowing down their learning cycle. They may not learn how to play with friends, develop language skills, and interact socially correctly.

In addition, excessive sleep and lack of participation in daily activities (as mothers do everything like eating and dressing for them) can also limit the child’s opportunities for interaction and movement, leading to passive thinking and slow development.

Indulging in every irrational behavior of the child

Parents who favor the ideology of freedom usually allow their children to explore and live comfortably. This may seem like an ideal environment for a child’s development. However, unlimited freedom can lead to the child behaving too comfortably and lack self-control.

Without any rules, the child will find it difficult to learn how to make appropriate decisions. Basic guidance is necessary for the child to understand the difference between right and wrong, fairness and unfairness. However, it cannot be denied that children also need space to be free and not become rigid and lacking flexibility. Inflexibility can cause regrettable improprieties within the family.

A balance must be found between freedom and adhering to principles in order to create a personalized education method that does not restrict a child’s creativity while still teaching them to comply with necessary regulations.

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