Unfilial children are the pain of parents. Unfilial children not only harm their parents but also harm themselves as they grow up. Virtuous deeds lead to the separation of families, and the next generation continues the mistakes of the previous generation, making it difficult to prosper. However, the birth of such children is mostly the fault of the parents. Therefore, parents need to reflect on themselves and avoid the following mistakes:
Low EQ parents, thoughtless speech
Parents with low EQ often fail to fully express or truly love their children. Sometimes they criticize and belittle their children in front of others, without encouraging them when they do well under the guise of humility. Parents with low emotional intelligence sometimes speak without thinking and always believe that children know nothing. This embeds in the minds of children the wounds that they do not even know. That silent injury erodes the love that children have for their parents. It makes the children not want to be close to their parents, and as they grow older, they do not want to be near them.
Excessive pampering by parents
Parents who excessively pamper their children under the guise of love sometimes make the children ungrateful and fail to understand the value of the love that their parents have given them. When spoiled, children feel that everything should come easily to them, so they do not appreciate things and often lack discipline. They become selfish and do not think about their parents. They only know how to enjoy what they have been given. Because they are used to being served, when they grow up, they often lack willpower, are ungrateful, and even become spoiled. That’s why many people wonder why this paradox exists, why many parents take care of every little thing for their children but their children do not reciprocate, while those parents who guide their children to do things themselves have obedient children. It is a natural psychological phenomenon that when someone only receives, they do not understand the value of what they receive and only know how to demand.
Parents who frequently beat, scold, and criticize their children
These are deep wounds in the minds of children. Shouting and physical punishment will leave a mark on the child’s mind. Physical pain will fade, but the wounds to the soul will not. The child’s resentment grows, turning into violence and causing the child to tend to use violence to solve problems. Furthermore, hitting and scolding children, as well as criticizing and insulting them, is against the law and moral ethics. Therefore, parents need to learn patience and respect their children, respect their privacy, and respect their children’s physical and human dignity. Parents cannot be hot-tempered with their children, but making offensive remarks and hitting them is absolutely unacceptable.
Parents who lack filial piety
Young children learn from adults in their family. When parents lack filial piety, it is difficult to teach children filial piety, unless the child is raised by the grandparents themselves and is loved by them as a grandchild. But they will also lack filial piety towards their parents (even though they have been well educated by their grandparents and become good people, they will only fulfill their obligations to their parents because their parents have not been filial with their grandparents). Filial piety in the family is very important.
Parents who often compare
All comparisons should be avoided in all areas of life and relationships. Comparisons are a way of demanding and belittling others. We just need to teach our children to try harder than themselves. Comparisons hurt and cause suffering to children. The words we speak are powerful weapons.
Do you think that by comparing your child to another child, you should compare yourself to the parents of that child? Such comparisons can make children resent their parents.
Parents who spend little time with their children, lack communication
Parents and children have a sacred bond, but if parents and children lack communication, live far apart, and do not care about each other, they are not as close as close relatives. The psychology and needs of human beings are to share, and through sharing, they become close and loving. Therefore, if parents and children do not spend time with each other, do not interact with each other, they will become increasingly distant. Therefore, parents need to spend time with their children, not give them to grandparents or maids. You earn money to support your children, you give birth to them, but if you are not close to them, they will not be familiar with you. In fact, there are children who are close and want to express their gratitude to maids and grandparents more than their own parents.
Parents who do not cultivate moral ethics in their children
By cultivating moral ethics, parents become good role models for their children. Your acts of filial piety will be deeply ingrained in your children. On the other hand, if you criticize and speak bitter words to others or to your own parents, your children learn from it and see it as normal behavior. Therefore, if you do not have a loving soul and do not cultivate moral ethics, how can you expect your children to possess those qualities? So if you want your children to be filial, you must cultivate filial piety within yourself and avoid the above mistakes.