Professor Ronald Ferguson of Harvard University has spent over a decade exploring the learning and working habits of exceptional individuals in various fields. Through his research, he discovered that parenting methods have a profound impact on their success.
“In my research, I found significant commonalities in the development of exceptional individuals. These commonalities can be categorized into eight crucial roles that parents play in their children’s upbringing,” shared Professor Ferguson.
First Learning Companion
In this role, parents ignite their children’s passion for learning from a very young age, even before they enter elementary school. Professor Ferguson asserts that the “first learning companion” is one of the most essential roles among the eight that parents play in their children’s development.
Studies show that children who excel as adults often learn to read at an early age. This not only creates a “leadership effect” in the child’s mind but also fosters a positive attitude towards school. Good preparation, along with praise from teachers, boosts their confidence in the learning process.
Co-Pilot
As the “co-pilot” in their children’s development, parents are responsible for monitoring their living and learning environment, ensuring they are raised in conducive conditions. When problems arise, parents need to intervene proactively to improve the surroundings.
However, this doesn’t mean that parents should constantly supervise and participate in all their children’s activities. Instead, they should create a suitable space, allowing children the necessary freedom to develop social relationships, learn to communicate, solve problems on their own, and discover their interests.
Fixer
Creating an ideal living and learning environment for children is not always easy. There are often challenges that cause parents concern and a sense of falling short of providing the best conditions for their children’s growth. This is a reality that many families face.
As “fixers,” parents need to honestly address the challenges they encounter in raising their children and actively seek improvements. For example, a family may be facing financial difficulties, but parents can work hard to rearrange their budget and prioritize their children’s education. In this case, despite limited financial resources, parents will work together to make specific plans, determined to overcome obstacles and work towards a common goal for their children’s development.
Vision Expander
Parents can support their children’s knowledge acquisition and expansion by taking them to museums, art exhibitions, or encouraging them to read at libraries. These activities not only help children develop their perspectives but also stimulate their curiosity and love of learning.
Even without advanced degrees or financial advantages, parents can create valuable experiences for their children. Enthusiasm and creativity in exploring the world will effectively enhance children’s awareness and broaden their understanding.
Thought Leader
According to Professor Ferguson, the role of “thought leader” is of particular importance in a child’s upbringing. Through this role, parents can guide their children, helping them define their life goals and find meaning.
Parents should not underestimate their children’s capacity to grasp and understand profound ideas. They should confidently ask profound questions and encourage children to share their opinions on significant life matters. Parents may be surprised by how their children perceive and interpret complex topics, revealing maturity and astuteness in their thinking.
Role Model
As role models, parents need to clearly define the core values that the family upholds. It is essential that parents are united and consistent in demonstrating these values through their daily actions. This builds trust and respect in children for the values that parents have instilled in the family.
Negotiator
Parents are responsible for teaching children how to express respect and act appropriately when facing disagreements or unfair treatment. Children need to be equipped with the skills to speak up and defend what is right and their standpoint when necessary.
However, along with encouraging self-advocacy, parents should also teach them to control their emotions and behavior. Calm and intelligent communication, like a true negotiator, will enable children to effectively handle difficult situations.
Spiritual Companion
Parents cannot always be physically present as their children grow up. Eventually, children will become independent and build their own lives, away from their parents’ constant presence. In these moments, the values and teachings imparted by their parents will resonate in their minds, guiding them through their early experiences and helping them stay on the path their parents have shaped.
Professor Ferguson emphasizes that the essential factor for every parent is the will and determination to be good mothers and fathers. He calls this the “fire of enthusiasm” – the driving force that motivates parents to develop a clear vision for their children’s upbringing, contributing to their development into valuable members of society. This passion not only helps parents impart life lessons but also serves as a compass for children facing life’s challenges.