“How do you respond when asked ‘Is our family poor?’ Your parents’ answer determines your future”

Children are highly sensitive to their parents' words, so when they ask this question, it is important for you to carefully consider your response to avoid negatively impacting the child's emotional well-being.


Children do not say they know nothing, they pay attention to the words and observe. They are carefree but when they pay attention, they are very sensitive. When they go to someone else’s house and see different household items, children will ask questions. Sometimes they will hear adults talking. In society, it may be unavoidable to hear the neighbors say “their house is poor,” or even many parents complain to their children all day that “our house is poor, the parents are poor”.

There is a story about a father who, when asked by his child about this, said that their house is not poor, but the parents don’t change the house with money because we are very good and happy here, the parents don’t buy expensive shoes because these shoes are still comfortable to wear, we need to use that money for more meaningful things, such as saving for college or giving gifts to grandparents, helping others…

The answers and attitude of the parents will affect the life of the child. If you try to hide your poverty and lie to your child that your house is rich, and then say that if the child wants something like you, the parents will buy it for the child. That will unintentionally turn your child into a fickle child, chasing after appearances. But if you want to emphasize that your house is very poor, the child will feel insecure with friends and others. Both states are quite negative for the development of children.

Therefore, parents can pay attention and refer to the following:

Do not lie about the situation but avoid planting the idea of poverty in the child

Many people, even before their child asks, teach the child from an early age that their house is very poor, their house does not have any money, the child should not ask, the parents do not have any money. Many parents see this as a way for the child to avoid demands. But they do not know that those words imprint in the child’s mind a sense of inferiority and tiredness, a binding pressure. Moreover, it is also an unsophisticated way of thinking. Sometimes you think it is motivating the child but for the child it is pressure, indulging in self-doubt.

When the child demands, guide the child to the real reason that is more useful than spending money on that, instead of saying “our house does not have money”, “our house is very poor”. Instead of that, say “the parents think we need to buy this first.” Insecurity and self-doubt can follow the child throughout their life, and the child will not dare to express themselves, always keep themselves in check.

On the other hand, if you want your child not to be hurt by lying that your house is not poor, and pretend to be wealthy, your child may develop spoiled and boastful demands. Taking that to show off to friends. Meanwhile, if you show that you really need to spend on something more necessary, your child will not feel inferior and when teased by friends, the child will know how to respond better.

Teach children about money

– When the child asks about money, teach the child about money early. Even if the child does not ask, you should still teach the child about money.

– Let the child know where money comes from: Let them know that money comes from the value of labor. So to have money, you have to work. Children also need to work within their capacity and age, not everything is readily available from parents. You can guide the child to do some chores to earn spending money so that the child knows that earning money is not easy.

– Guide the child in how to use money: The first step in teaching the child to spend money wisely is to help the child distinguish between “need” and “want”. Children often want before they need. So analyze for the child to understand whether they like it but do they really need it, what they will use it for… From there, the child will have a better understanding of how to spend money.

– Parents should give the child a monthly allowance and let the child allocate the expenses with the guidance of the parents, instead of giving the child every day.

Money is extremely important in life. The perspective on money is even more important because it affects the child’s thinking and behavior in the future. So be careful when talking to your child about money and when dealing with your child related to money.

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