A renowned psychologist once shared an insight about human energy, stating that it manifests in distinct levels. Children with abundant energy resemble the sun, exuding enthusiasm and radiating brilliance. Conversely, those with lower energy levels tend to be passive, easily retreating into their shells and succumbing to external pressures.
When children seem unmotivated or lacking passion, instead of criticism, parents should proactively create a positive environment to ignite their inner fire.
To raise exceptional and aspiring children, parents must embrace and let go of the following four aspects.
Release the Pressure of “Diligence”
At around three years old, children enter a crucial stage for developing a sense of security and self-reliance. Parents should encourage their kids to engage in basic household chores and learn self-care skills. This not only fosters essential life skills but also boosts their confidence and independence in daily routines.
A longitudinal study by Harvard psychologists tracked a group of adolescents over several decades, yielding intriguing findings. Children who regularly participated in household chores from a young age tended to have better relationships and more positive attitudes as adults. They were also four times more likely to secure well-paying jobs and had a 15-fold lower risk of long-term unemployment compared to their less-chored peers.
This underscores the benefits of raising children in an environment that discourages laziness.
Parents need to learn to “release” their diligence by doing less and, in turn, encouraging their children to take initiative. Create opportunities for them to understand their sense of agency and accountability. This release doesn’t imply parental neglect or detachment; it’s about nurturing their independence. For instance, instead of always tidying up their room, guide them to clean and organize their space according to their preferences. When they encounter challenges, refrain from immediate intervention; instead, mentor them to find solutions.
Through these methods, children will acquire vital life skills, develop independent thinking, and build a sense of responsibility—all of which are key ingredients for future success. Additionally, parents can reclaim time for self-care and cultivate other relationships.
Releasing Doesn’t Mean Parental Disengagement
Let Go of “Desires”
Scientist Daniel Siegel introduced an intriguing concept called the “open brain.”
This concept refers to children developing a profound understanding of themselves and their potential, along with the ability to overcome negative emotions like disappointment and frustration, thus making meaningful life choices.
Given that parents and children often have divergent life experiences, learning to “detach” is essential. Create an empowering environment for your child to become the CEO of their life.
Grant them control by minimizing excessive instructions or constraints on their freedom. Allow them to choose their daily activities, from selecting outfits to designing their bedroom layout. This fosters decision-making skills, boosts confidence, and instills a sense of responsibility for their actions.
Additionally, demonstrate your trust in their capabilities and encourage them to explore and problem-solve independently. Instead of rushing to intervene when they encounter obstacles, offer patient support and guidance, creating opportunities for them to grow and mature.
Encourage Exploration and Problem-Solving
Release “Anxiety”
Many parents feel anxious when their children don’t meet expectations or fall behind their peers. This anxiety can manifest as anger, creating a fearful environment for the child.
Prolonged anxiety and irritability can stifle a child’s personality development and negatively impact their confidence and independence.
For this reason, experts advise parents to accompany their children on a gradual and consistent growth journey. Rushing for success can be more detrimental than beneficial.
Instead of stressing over challenges, slow down and infuse love into every step of their growth. When children feel loved and supported, they gain the confidence to forge ahead.
Emphasize acceptance and respect for your child as a unique individual. Every child has their strengths and weaknesses, and progress occurs at varying paces. Focus on discovering and encouraging their strengths rather than making comparisons or imposing unrealistic expectations.
Create a safe and loving environment where they are free to experiment, make mistakes, and learn without fearing repercussions. This approach fosters self-confidence, emboldens them to embrace challenges, and prepares them to tackle future obstacles.
Create a Safe Haven for Experimentation and Learning
Release “Negative Judgments”
Some netizens compiled a list of negative statements that parents often use to criticize their children:
“Look at your sibling; they always score higher than you. When will you make us proud?”
“If I didn’t push you to study every day, how would you have achieved these results?”
“Why are you so stupid?”
Such criticisms infiltrate a child’s development, trapping them in a cycle of low self-esteem.
Constant criticism deprives children of positive guidance, inundating them with negative energy that severely impacts their psychological development and confidence.
Children, too, deserve self-respect.
These statements not only fail to build confidence but also breed long-lasting negative consequences. Children may feel disrespected, unloved, and unsupported, potentially leading to psychological and behavioral issues down the line.
Instead, make time to listen and understand your child. Focus on the positive aspects, offer encouragement, and create a sense of trust and support. This approach bolsters their self-confidence and strengthens family bonds.
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