It’s easy to observe in daily life that many children have a habit of procrastinating on tasks such as homework, bathing, eating, and getting dressed. This habit occurs repeatedly, and eventually, they only complete their work when urged by their parents.
This procrastination seems to have become an “invisible barrier” that many children struggle to overcome.
As a child psychology expert, Professor Li Meijin has long been interested in this developmental trait. She points out that the deep-rooted cause of children’s procrastination lies in inappropriate parental behaviors during the upbringing process.
Over-interference can reduce children’s self-governance abilities
Many parents, due to their desires and expectations for their children, often find themselves in a state of “arranging and substituting” everything. From study schedules to daily activities, everything is already prepared by the parents.
Although this may seem like a thoughtful act, it actually limits the child’s ability to self-manage and make decisions. This causes children to gradually lose their sense of time management and motivation to complete tasks.
As Professor Li Meijin points out, “True love is allowing children the opportunity to experiment and make mistakes.” Parents need to learn to let go reasonably to create space for their children’s independence.
Parents often take control and do things for their children due to their desires and expectations.
By involving children in the process of planning their studies and organizing daily activities, they will have the opportunity to practice self-management skills, even if the initial steps are imperfect or inefficient.
This process helps children learn how to plan and develop a sense of responsibility for the tasks assigned to them. Through practice, they will gradually develop the ability to self-execute tasks while minimizing procrastination.
Allowing children to make their own decisions will build confidence and promote greater maturity and responsibility in the future.
High standards and strict requirements can easily overlook each child’s uniqueness
Every parent sincerely wishes for their child’s success. However, when expectations become excessive, they are often accompanied by unrealistic standards and demands. Parents tend to compare their children’s achievements with their personal experiences or societal norms without realizing that each child has a unique pace of development and distinct characteristics.
When children cannot meet these high expectations, it can lead to feelings of disappointment and low self-esteem, which can then result in a tendency to avoid or procrastinate in their studies and life.
As Professor Li Meijin points out, “Each child possesses unique traits, and parents should learn to celebrate these differences.” This calls for parents to adjust their perspectives, approaching their children’s development with tolerance and understanding.
Parents’ high expectations can sometimes overlook their child’s unique traits and abilities.
Setting reasonable goals that align with the child’s abilities is crucial. Encourage them to develop their talents in areas where they excel.
Additionally, parents should focus on the child’s efforts and process of development rather than solely on the end result. This way, children will have the opportunity to build self-confidence and courage to face challenges, reducing the feeling of procrastination. Positive support from parents will serve as a motivator for children to grow without feeling pressured, allowing them to explore and maximize their potential.
Lack of effective interaction and neglect of children’s emotional needs
In today’s fast-paced life, effective communication between parents and children is becoming increasingly rare.
Many parents are solely focused on academic achievements, neglecting the emotional needs and inner struggles their children may be experiencing.
When children face difficulties and challenges, if they do not receive timely psychological support and understanding, they can easily fall into a negative emotional state, using procrastination as a means of escaping reality.
“Listening is the foundation of communication,” says Professor Li Meijin. Parents need to become a strong support system for their children and learn to listen and understand their emotions.
Effective communication between parents and children is crucial but rare in today’s fast-paced life.
A smart approach when children exhibit procrastination
When children exhibit procrastination, instead of immediately criticizing them, parents should patiently explore the underlying causes and work together to find solutions.
By creating positive emotional exchanges, trust and understanding among family members will be strengthened. This helps children realize that their parents are there for them, regardless of success or failure, giving them the courage to face challenges and overcome procrastination.
Procrastination in children doesn’t develop overnight; it often involves complex psychological mechanisms and is influenced by the family environment. Therefore, parents should also carefully consider whether their parenting methods might unintentionally encourage this behavior.
Instead of forcing change, by adjusting expectations reasonably and improving effective communication, parents can support their children in overcoming procrastination and encourage their holistic and healthy development.
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