Three Skills to Improve Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Children who display high emotional intelligence (EQ) from a young age tend to be more successful as they grow older.


Teaching Children to Deal with Emotions

Dr. John Gottman, an American psychologist, states that there are three actions that can hinder the development of emotional intelligence (EQ) in children: ignoring the child’s negative emotions, reacting negatively or punishing the child for those emotions, and finally, not helping the child learn how to cope with negative emotions despite recognizing them.

When children experience negative emotions, parents need to acknowledge and guide them on how to handle these emotions in a healthy way. For example, when a child cries, parents should show empathy and be willing to help: “Mom and Dad understand that you’re feeling sad, what can we do to comfort you?”

When a child gets angry, parents should explore the cause of the anger and have a discussion with the child to make them feel understood. Using words like “Yes,” “Oh,” and “Sorry” in communication can soothe the child’s heart and help them release negative emotions.

Learning to Listen

Listening skills are not only valuable qualities for adults but also important social skills. For children’s development, this skill is crucial. It helps children learn to filter information and absorb valuable lessons from life. If developed early on, this skill equips children with the ability to evaluate and select information wisely.

Although many people enjoy expressing their opinions or sharing their thoughts, not everyone tends to listen to others. Therefore, listening is not a naturally occurring skill but rather something that needs to be learned and practiced.

A child with good listening skills is not only a child with the ability to learn and be intelligent but also a child with the ability to share and interact with others. Listening helps children develop the ability to filter information and identify what is useful to learn and what is not. Therefore, parents should pay attention to teaching this skill to children from an early age for their holistic development.

Teaching Children to Be Proactive

From an early age, educating children about the proactive mindset is an important part of building the foundation for their future success.

Parents often love their children and may overly pamper them, worrying about every aspect of their lives. When children are young, meticulous guidance is necessary for them to learn and imitate. But as children grow up, independence in thinking and being proactive needs to be encouraged. If parents keep making decisions for them, children will not develop their creativity, flexibility, and may become shy, lacking self-confidence, and being unable to take the initiative.

If not trained, when faced with choices, children may avoid and rely on their parents’ decisions, gradually developing a dependent psychology and being influenced by others’ opinions. Therefore, stimulating children’s proactivity is not only necessary in learning but also in all aspects of life for them to stand strong in the future.

Parents should take the time to listen to their children’s ideas and emotions, ask questions to encourage thinking, and let children solve problems within their abilities. Through such actions, children will gradually develop a proactive and creative ability, ready to face and solve complex situations, as well as develop personal perspectives.

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