Many parents wonder how to raise a happy and successful child. Professor Li Meijin offers some parenting methods for different stages of a child’s development, which parents can refer to.
Ages 0-3: Emotional support and a sense of security are the top priorities
From birth to age three, children form one-on-one attachments with family members, and this attachment continues to develop until they are 12 years old.
Attachment is the source of emotions. When a child forms an attachment with someone, they feel happy when that person is around. When they are sad, they find comfort only in the presence of that attachment figure. When their attachment needs are met, they tend to feel relaxed, calm, and happy.
Emotional support and a sense of security are of utmost importance.
The “cry-it-out” method, which originated in the United States, once gained popularity worldwide. This method suggests that parents ignore their child’s cries to promote independent sleeping habits and reduce crying.
However, Professor Li Meijin disagrees with this approach. She believes that during the early stages when children are unable to care for themselves and can only express their needs through crying, parents should respond immediately by holding and comforting them.
When children’s cries for comfort go unanswered for extended periods, it can create overly stressful memories in their autonomic nervous system, affecting their temperament.
Ages 3 to 12: Instilling good habits and building a foundation for independence and responsibility
Starting at age three, children gradually develop the ability to understand and express themselves. This stage is crucial for setting rules and boundaries.
– When your child turns three, it’s essential to learn to say “no” to them when necessary.
– At age four, teach your child about waiting and developing self-discipline.
– By age five, focus on self-management during temptation and model sharing with others.
– When they turn six, they can learn about hard work and perseverance through sports.
Instilling good habits lays the foundation for independence and responsibility.
Around age three, a child’s crying is no longer a physiological need but a psychological one. So, how do you get your child to stop crying for no reason? Consider Professor Li Meijin’s approach.
For instance, if your child is crying at home because they don’t have a mobile phone or can’t watch cartoons, take them to their bedroom and let them cry alone while you observe with a smile.
Once they’ve cried themselves out, you can get up, offer a tissue, and let them feel your love. When their emotions have stabilized, you can calmly explain things to them.
Professor Li Meijin advises parents to follow the “four don’ts” when educating their children: Don’t shout, don’t hit, don’t argue when they cry, and don’t abandon them.
Encourage your child to express their opinions, listen to their views, and establish a democratic model of communication. A lack of harmony in the early years can lead to self-control issues in adulthood.
Ages 12-18: The importance of sex education, understanding love, and valuing and loving oneself
From the age of 12 for girls and 14 for boys, secondary sexual characteristics begin to develop, marking the onset of puberty.
Therefore, parents should guide their children towards maturity and respect their choices. For instance, after they enter the second year of middle school, parents can discuss future career paths with their children. Guide them through the decision-making process instead of vaguely “managing” them.
Professor Li Meijin’s daughter struggled with math in middle school, so she found an excellent tutor. However, her daughter frankly expressed her lack of interest in the subject and requested that the money be spent on English and history tutoring instead.
Respecting her daughter’s opinion, Professor Li focused on English and history tutoring. As a result, her English grades improved significantly by the time she took the college entrance exam.
As children have the clearest self-awareness at this age, they should be given opportunities to express themselves and follow their own rhythm.
Sex education, understanding love, and valuing and loving oneself are crucial during this stage.
Choosing clothes is like choosing a life partner
When her daughter was in middle school, Professor Li Meijin used the example of choosing clothes to teach her about establishing the right perspective on love.
On one occasion, while shopping at a mall, her daughter fell in love with an outfit in the first store they entered. Professor Li encouraged her to browse other stores first. As they continued their walk, her daughter discovered more favorable options.
Professor Li seized this opportunity to impart wisdom: “Choosing a life partner is like choosing clothes. Middle school is like the first store. If you fall in love too early in middle school, you may miss out on meeting better people in the future.” This reminder underscores that while love is a natural emotion, it should align with one’s stage of life.
As children navigate their journey towards adulthood, having the right concepts of love and friendship will enable them to protect themselves and cultivate healthy relationships.
Beyond academic success, children need a healthy body, a harmonious family, and positive relationships. Emotional richness contributes to happiness. Thus, Professor Li advises parents against pushing their children too hard.
Parenting is an investment in a child’s psychology, and this investment is priceless. Through this investment, children can remember the voices, shapes, and scents of their caregivers, forming deep attachments. This invisible psychological capital becomes a tremendous asset for children as they navigate their lives.
The Tell-Tale Signs You’re Parenting Wrong
A subtle sign in your child could indicate a mistake in your parenting approach. Do not overlook this article if you want your child to thrive and reach their full potential.
The Psychology Professor’s Take: Uncovering the 3 Parental Mistakes Behind a Lazy Child
The art of procrastination is an all-too-common issue for many, and it can often be traced back to daily habits and routines. Renowned experts in the field of child psychology now advise parents to be mindful of their parenting methods and make necessary adjustments to curb this habit.
“The Pivotal Role of Fathers: Guiding Sons Through Adolescence and Beyond”
A father plays a pivotal role in his son’s upbringing, especially during those formidable teenage years.
“Using Poverty to Teach Sons, Using Wealth to Raise Daughters: True or False? A Psychologist’s Perspective on Parental Misconceptions.”
“Use poverty to educate your sons and wealth to raise your daughters.” This age-old saying has its pros and cons, and understanding its implications is crucial for parents. A skilled psychologist sheds light on this dichotomy, offering insights to help parents navigate their children’s upbringing effectively.
“The Secret to Academic Success: Unlocking Your Child’s Potential”
The application of tailored educational techniques can enhance a child’s cognitive abilities, improve their memory retention, and facilitate better academic performance.
