Some argue that raising boys in poverty can instill virtues such as perseverance and self-reliance. Daily struggles toughen them up, teaching valuable life skills, facing challenges, and developing strong characters. Conversely, raising girls in wealthy environments creates a sense of security and protection, shielding them from pressures and hardships.

The perspective of “Using poverty to teach boys and wealth to raise girls” sparks debates. (Illustrative image)

However, others argue that this perspective reflects gender discrimination in education. Viewing boys as those who need to endure hardship and girls as those who require protection can instill negative stereotypes about each gender’s societal roles.

These stereotypes not only impact children’s psychology but also lead to outdated thinking about the future positions of men and women. Parents, regardless of gender, should provide their children with the freedom to explore and develop themselves. The notion of “Using poverty to teach boys and wealth to raise girls” warrants careful consideration.

Education is not solely the responsibility of parents but also of the entire community. Creating a supportive environment that encourages children’s development will enable them to become confident, independent individuals who contribute positively to society. Therefore, psychologist Quang Thi Mong Chi offers valuable advice, providing parents with a more comprehensive and multifaceted perspective.

Master of Psychology Quang Thi Mong Chi.

Expert, if considered a method of raising children, what are the advantages and disadvantages of “Using poverty to teach boys and wealth to raise girls”?

I think “Using poverty to teach boys and wealth to raise girls” is more of a perspective than a parenting method. With this viewpoint, people believe that raising boys in deprived conditions will motivate them to strive and become the family’s backbone in the future.

For girls, being raised in affluent surroundings ensures they won’t be easily lured by material values, compromising themselves, or feeling inferior and bullied later in life. While this thinking may be logical in certain contexts, it also has shortcomings.

First, if parents are financially capable but refuse to support their sons, the boys will be at a disadvantage compared to their peers. Moreover, wealth or poverty does not determine a child’s will to strive but rather depends on parental guidance and orientation.

Second, girls also need career guidance and personal development. They shouldn’t rely solely on choosing a husband to depend on in the future, so spoiling and fulfilling a daughter’s every demand isn’t beneficial.

What benefits can raising boys in a poor environment bring to their life skills development?

Children who grow up in poverty and hardship will have stronger survival instincts. They must confront challenges without readily available resources, so they must think creatively, persevere, and work hard to overcome obstacles. This environment fosters decision-making, problem-solving, creativity, critical thinking, and other essential skills.

Thus, difficult situations create a need for children to find solutions, enhancing their self-improvement and development. However, if children sense that their parents can help but choose to leave them struggling alone, they may feel unloved and unsupported, negatively impacting their personalities and motivation for self-improvement.

Additionally, parents’ financial support provides children with more opportunities to explore and learn, offering critical knowledge, skills, and orientation for their future. Economic stability also boosts children’s confidence in pursuing their dreams instead of merely focusing on escaping poverty, which can lead to a crisis of purpose.

How might “using wealth” to raise girls create unrealistic expectations for them, and what psychological pressures could this lead to in the future?

If parents are well-off, they can certainly use their financial resources to provide their daughters with a more comfortable life and more opportunities for personal growth. However, if girls grow up getting whatever they want without limits, they may struggle to live harmoniously with others, take care of themselves, or show empathy and care for others, leading to negative personality traits.

Furthermore, if less financially fortunate families try to fulfill their daughters’ every demand, it could backfire, resulting in ungrateful, demanding, and greedy children. Additionally, girls who have always lived comfortably may lack the resilience to adapt to life’s challenges and lack the drive to improve themselves, becoming fragile and easily overwhelmed.

How can parents evaluate and adjust their parenting methods to suit their children’s unique needs and personalities?

For parents to understand their children’s psychology and choose appropriate educational methods, they should spend time observing and communicating with their kids. It’s essential to assess their habits, behaviors, and performance in diverse environments. Having faith in their children and listening to them are also significant aspects of parenting.

However, whether they are boys or girls, children need guidance in developing their morals, ethics, values, and essential skills. They should also determine their life goals, ideals, and positive directions for each life stage. Therefore, parents must expose their children to diverse experiences and encourage them to engage in social activities that align with their interests, talents, goals, and family financial conditions. Nurturing independence, self-reliance, and a sense of responsibility are crucial aspects of parenting.

Frequently asked questions

The article discusses the psychological impact of using poverty as a teaching tool for sons and wealth as a means of raising daughters, and whether these approaches are effective or detrimental to the children’s development.

No, the author, a psychologist, refutes this notion and provides a professional perspective on parental misconceptions. They argue that while it may be well-intentioned, this approach can lead to unintended consequences and reinforce gender stereotypes.

The author suggests that parents can instill a sense of financial literacy and responsibility by teaching both sons and daughters about budgeting, saving, and the value of money. This can be done through age-appropriate conversations, involving children in family financial decisions, and encouraging critical thinking about consumer culture.

The article highlights that this approach can lead to a sense of entitlement and a lack of empathy in sons. It may also foster a distorted view of the world, where they see themselves as ‘rescues’ of the less fortunate instead of understanding the systemic causes of poverty.

Wealth is often associated with material possessions and a focus on appearance. Raising daughters with an emphasis on wealth can promote a sense of dependency, shallow values, and a distorted self-image. It may also limit their sense of agency and ambition in pursuing their own careers and financial independence.
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