Leading parenting experts assert that there is no one-size-fits-all discipline approach.
Parents should choose discipline strategies that align with their family’s parenting style, the child’s temperament, and their own personalities.
However, they recommend that parents adopt a firm but kind discipline approach, considering limits and consequences while consistently acknowledging their child’s emotions.
Firm but Kind: A Balanced Discipline Approach
According to Dr. Tran Ha Thu, a lecturer in Psychology at the University of Social Sciences and Humanities, VNU, parents should avoid relying on a single discipline method for all situations and ages.
“As children are constantly growing and changing, discipline approaches need to be flexible and adapted to their developmental stage and specific circumstances,” explains Dr. Thu. “For instance, during the preschool years (ages 2-5), discipline should focus on guidance and protection. In contrast, discipline for adolescents (ages 11-17) should help them understand responsibility and the consequences of their actions, allowing for negotiation and discussion about appropriate discipline.”
Dr. Thu also suggests that parents consider and apply different discipline styles depending on the specific context and their child’s unique needs.
Positive Discipline
Positive discipline is built on a foundation of encouragement and motivation. Instead of solely focusing on punishment, parents use positive discipline to educate and guide their children.
It involves helping children develop problem-solving skills and working together to overcome challenges. This method is often employed during family meetings and uses an authoritative approach to address children’s behaviors.
Equipping Children with Problem-Solving Skills
Gentle Discipline
Gentle discipline aims to prevent problems and steer children away from undesirable habits.
While children will inevitably make mistakes and encounter issues, gentle discipline refrains from shaming them. Instead, parents use humor and distraction techniques to prevent children from feeling guilty. The key is for parents to remain calm and manage their emotions when addressing their child’s misbehavior.
Boundary-Setting Discipline
Boundary-setting discipline emphasizes establishing clear rules and boundaries from the outset. Children are explicitly informed about the consequences they will face if they violate these rules. This approach encourages children to make their own decisions and take responsibility for their actions.
Clear Rules and Boundaries: A Foundation for Discipline
Behavior Modification Discipline
Behavior modification discipline focuses on creating positive and negative consequences. Desirable behaviors are encouraged through praise or rewards, while undesirable behaviors result in negative consequences such as loss of privileges or being ignored.
Emotional Coaching
Emotional coaching is a five-step discipline process that centers on teaching children about emotions and how to manage them. When children understand their emotions, they are more likely to express themselves verbally instead of acting impulsively. It’s essential to validate all emotions and teach children appropriate coping strategies.
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