The philosopher Rousseau once said, “The three most ineffective methods of education are: reason, anger, and force.” Thus, if parents truly love their children, they must accept and teach them using the most appropriate methods.
1. Parents should not overly shelter their children
In the eyes of parents, their children are always babies, no matter their age. As a result, they constantly worry about their children being bullied or facing difficulties when they are outside.
Since the birth of their child, parents have been accustomed to feeding them. However, if they continue to feed and dress a child who is already three years old, the child will develop a dependence and will not know how to be independent. As they grow older, they will lack basic life skills and the ability to form their own opinions.
If parents overly protect their children and do everything for them, they will eventually raise “giant babies.” These children will not only fail to appreciate their parents’ efforts but may even blame them for taking away their independence.
Additionally, the children will lack the skills to stand on their own two feet. When they step out into society, they will have to face the world alone.
Therefore, if parents truly understand and love their children, they should allow them to explore, face challenges, and grow on their own.
2. Parents should refrain from losing their temper and shouting at their children
During the process of raising their children, many parents lose patience and become angry with them, often flying into a rage and shouting.
For young children, such situations can be terrifying and can negatively impact their self-confidence.
This is commonly seen in parents of children aged 6-7, who are in the stage of developing study habits. As they enter primary school, children are forced to do homework, which can lead to frustration and a reliance on their parents.
After repeatedly asking their children gently, parents may feel helpless and resort to scolding.
In reality, when parents lose their temper and shout, it affects the children, leading to the development of a negative temperament, making them prone to anger and irritability.
If parents can work with their children to establish some rules to control their emotions, it will help reduce the burden and enable the children to master themselves. This will positively impact their emotional intelligence (EQ).
3. Parents should not overly interfere with their children’s choices
Parents always want the best for their children, and this becomes a justification for interfering in their lives, satisfying their own “desire for control.”
Some parents like to be involved in everything from their children’s hobbies to their friendships. They want to be in control of every aspect of their children’s lives.
However, growing up in such an environment can make children passive and unable to form their own opinions.
It is undeniable that, from a parent’s perspective, everyone wants their child to be successful and avoid making mistakes. Parents, being older and more experienced, can foresee certain situations.
However, negative measures such as prohibition and coercion will make children cautious, fearful, and unable to think and live independently.
From the age of two or three, parents should start allowing their children to form their own thoughts and make some decisions within their capacity. By doing so, when they grow up, they will be more decisive and self-disciplined. Later, when they leave their parents and enter society, they will have a sense of responsibility and their own opinions.