Overprotected children tend to be reliant on others and struggle with independent problem-solving.
Many parents complain that despite their best efforts and aspirations to raise exceptional children, they fall short of their desired goals. In reality, there is a significant correlation with parenting styles, which some parents may not realize.
Parents steal the spotlight
Loving parents often have the best intentions for their children’s future. They may inadvertently focus on the minutiae of their lives, from clothing choices to diet, academic paths, and career options.
While parents want to arrange and decide everything, this level of attention can be overwhelming for children. Each child has unique thoughts and aspirations. They need to think independently and make their own decisions. Parental control and over-arrangement can stifle the development of self-awareness and self-worth, leading to children becoming more introverted.
Instead of overprotecting, guide them towards independence.
Three fundamental desires of children
A well-known saying in education is that “education is about making children feel important.” This is the key to raising exceptional children because when children feel important, they develop a sense of self-worth and importance. As a result, their self-confidence, sense of responsibility, and motivation to learn increase.
To make children feel important, three fundamental desires must be satisfied: safety, autonomy, and a sense of belonging.
Sense of Safety
Many children exhibit courage by independently handling tasks such as choosing a seat, ordering food, or performing on stage. However, from an educator’s perspective, this is not solely about courage but also about feeling safe.
Children inherently crave safety and stability. As they grow up, they continue to seek this sense of safety to feel in control of their lives. The sources of safety are material satisfaction and spiritual support.
Parents can meet their children’s basic material needs, such as food, clothing, and shelter. However, it is the emotional support, encouragement, and understanding that make children feel loved and cared for, fostering a sense of safety.
Sense of Safety.
Autonomy
We all know that autonomy is crucial for individuals. Children with autonomy can think and solve problems independently, rely less on others, and exhibit enhanced creativity and imagination.
To foster autonomy, parents should offer their children a range of choices. For instance, refrain from making statements or engaging in behaviors that suggest dominance, such as “Mommy, help me” or “I don’t know, let mom do it.” Instead, provide more opportunities for them to try and decide.
According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is the highest need. This means that individuals can fulfill their potential in a suitable environment, realize their ideals and aspirations, and achieve a harmonious personality development.
Therefore, consciously nurture your child’s autonomy. This will foster independent thinking and help them better understand their needs and goals.
As children make their own decisions, they will experience joy and a sense of accomplishment, leading to a more fulfilled and satisfied state of mind.
Sense of Belonging
The “sense of belonging” refers to an individual’s identification with a group and their dependence on it. It is an essential aspect of personal growth.
Research has shown that parental neglect can make children feel insecure and lonely. This insecurity and loneliness can impact their social life in the future.
Statements like “You deserve respect,” “You should not be bullied,” “You are loved,” and “You can be happy” are formed through a child’s harmony with their parents and will stay with them for life. Self-awareness allows others to understand who they are and how they should be treated.
Sense of Belonging.
The family is the primary environment in which children grow up. Parenting styles significantly influence a child’s sense of belonging.
When children feel the warmth and acceptance of their family, they sense that they are loved, accepted, and valued.
Research has shown that children with a strong sense of belonging tend to develop better social skills and experience higher levels of happiness.
Far-sighted parents will refrain from controlling their children’s lives. Instead, they will respect their opinions and encourage them to make their own choices. By fostering this environment, children are more likely to grow up to be independent, creative, and confident.
“The 3-Pronged Approach to Parenting: Nurturing Well-Rounded and Successful Children”
As parents, we all aspire to raise our children to be successful and well-rounded individuals. However, it is important to recognize that traditional textbook education may not always be the best approach for our little ones. It is crucial to explore alternative methods and tailor our teaching strategies to suit their unique needs and learning styles. By embracing a diverse range of educational tools and embracing each child’s individuality, we can empower them to reach their full potential and thrive in their own unique way.
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