Children are naturally curious and eager to explore their surroundings. They may not realize that taking something without permission is wrong, or they may not have been taught about the value of property and respecting others’ belongings. As a result, they may not understand that taking something that doesn’t belong to them is unacceptable.
Illustration.
In other cases, children tend to imitate the behaviors of those around them, including negative behaviors. If children see their peers or adults stealing without consequences, they may think that this behavior is acceptable.
When caught stealing, children may be ostracized or distrusted by their peers, leading to feelings of loneliness and psychological harm. Therefore, if children are not educated properly, this behavior can become a habit, leading to future wrongdoing.
It is crucial for parents to help children recognize their mistakes and find solutions. Parents can start by teaching appropriate behaviors in daily life, creating a loving environment, and encouraging honest communication to help children develop a sense of responsibility. When children understand the value of respecting others’ property, they can grow into more well-rounded individuals.
Psychologist Quan Thi Mong Chi.
Some believe that children who take things without permission or hide broken items reflect a lack of teaching about boundaries and ownership. What are your thoughts on this?
From a developmental psychology perspective, behaviors such as taking things without permission or hiding broken items should not be hastily labeled as “theft” or “dishonesty.” Instead, they should be viewed as manifestations of children’s developing awareness of personal boundaries, ownership, and moral responsibility.
The notion that these behaviors indicate a lack of education about boundaries and ownership is entirely reasonable but should be analyzed in the context of children’s psycho-physiological development and their upbringing environment.
Children between the ages of two and six are in the “pre-operational” stage according to Jean Piaget’s cognitive development theory. During this stage, children tend to be egocentric, meaning they view the world from their perspective and may not fully comprehend that others have distinct thoughts, emotions, and rights.
Consequently, when a child takes something without asking, it is likely due to their lack of understanding that the object belongs to someone else, or they may think that if something is within their reach, they can use it without permission.
This does not imply that the child intentionally breaks the rules but rather indicates a lack of fully formed concepts about ownership and social boundaries.
Additionally, the act of hiding a broken item often stems from fear or anxiety, an instinctive response to avoid reprimand, punishment, or loss of affection from adults. This is particularly common in children raised in highly disciplined environments, where they are frequently scolded and seldom taught about consequences and how to rectify mistakes.
When children are not guided on how to acknowledge and rectify their mistakes safely, they tend to choose concealment as a defense mechanism. The issue here is not a “bad character” but a lack of coping skills when faced with errors.
Instead of judging or punishing, parents need to recognize this as a valuable teaching opportunity to educate children about boundaries, ownership, and responsibility. It is essential that adults provide clear and consistent explanations, using age-appropriate language, about personal belongings and the importance of respect, specifically asking for permission before using someone else’s possessions.
Parents should also create an environment that encourages honest sharing by remaining calm and guiding children on how to rectify their mistakes, rather than solely focusing on punishment. At the same time, positive behaviors such as asking to borrow before using or admitting to accidentally breaking something should be acknowledged and praised to reinforce these values over the long term.
In summary, children’s behaviors of taking things without permission or hiding broken items are not merely signs of misbehavior or a lack of manners. They reflect the child’s level of cognitive development and moral skills closely linked to parental education. Early and proper guidance will not only help children understand personal boundaries and ownership but also foster a sense of responsibility and moral conduct in their social relationships as they grow up.
How should parents handle a situation where their child is caught stealing in a crowded place, ensuring that the child doesn’t feel ashamed and that the situation is resolved amicably?
When a child is caught stealing in a crowded place, it is a particularly sensitive situation that requires parents to act with great tact. It is crucial to protect the child’s self-esteem while also ensuring a peaceful resolution with the affected party. In such circumstances, the child is likely to feel scared, ashamed, and worried about being judged or punished, while adults may feel angry, confused, or compelled to “teach a lesson” to their child in front of others.
However, the most important thing at this moment is for parents to remain calm and refrain from scolding or humiliating the child in public. Protecting the child from judgmental gazes does not mean condoning their actions but rather creating a safe space for them to acknowledge their mistake and make amends positively.
Firstly, parents should proactively inform bystanders that they will handle the matter privately, simultaneously removing the child from the crowd to avoid any further embarrassment. In a private setting, adults should sit at the child’s eye level, engage in a calm conversation, and listen attentively to understand the underlying reasons for the incident.
Once the situation is fully understood, parents need to guide their child toward taking responsibility: returning the stolen item, apologizing to the affected party, and if necessary, offering compensation. If the child is too scared to apologize directly, parents can do so on their behalf, but it is essential to explain to the child that they should learn to face and rectify their actions independently in the future.
Simultaneously, when dealing with the affected party, parents should demonstrate sincerity and explain that this is an unintended mistake and an opportunity for the child to learn proper behavior. A receptive and respectful attitude will likely elicit understanding from the other party and create a positive environment for the child to make amends.
After the incident, parents should continue the conversation at home, helping the child understand why their behavior was wrong, fostering self-awareness, and guiding them toward values such as honesty, responsibility, and courage in facing their mistakes. What matters most is not that the child made a mistake but what they learn from it.
If parents respond humanely and provide the right guidance, the incident can become a valuable lesson, fostering the child’s healthy personality development, respect for others, and courage to take responsibility for their actions.
Should parents firmly insist that their child asks for permission before using someone else’s belongings and takes responsibility for any damage caused?
It is essential and entirely appropriate from the perspective of developmental psychology and moral education for parents to firmly insist that their child asks for permission before using someone else’s belongings and takes responsibility for any damage caused.
This is not just about teaching basic social rules but also about shaping their character, fostering respect for others, and instilling a sense of personal responsibility—the core foundations for developing social skills, moral values, and harmonious relationships within the community.
Young children are naturally curious and explorative but may lack the self-awareness to understand social boundaries fully. Without clear and consistent guidance, they may assume that “seeing means having the right to take” or “taking a little is okay,” which can eventually lead to a habit of violating others’ boundaries.
Therefore, parents need to persistently teach their children that everyone has personal belongings and that using them requires respect, specifically asking for permission.
These seemingly minor lessons lay the foundation for self-respect and empathy—when children understand that others have emotions and the right to refuse, they will learn to behave appropriately to maintain positive relationships.
Similarly, encouraging children to take responsibility and make amends when they damage someone else’s property is a valuable lesson in personal responsibility and facing consequences. Many parents tend to shield their children from the consequences of their actions or make excuses for them, leading to a misunderstanding that they are not accountable for their behavior.
In contrast, when parents accompany and guide their children through admitting their mistakes, apologizing, and offering to repair or compensate, children learn that making a mistake does not define their character but that their response to it does.
Of course, teaching these values should not involve scolding, coercion, or severe punishment. Instead, it requires firmness coupled with patience and understanding. When children do well—even in small actions like asking, “May I borrow this, please?” or taking the initiative to apologize—parents should offer timely praise to reinforce these positive behaviors. Conversely, when children make mistakes, view it as an opportunity to teach rather than criticize.
Teaching children to ask for permission before using others’ belongings and taking responsibility for any damage is not merely about instilling manners but about shaping their character through specific daily actions. The more consistent and gentle yet firm parents are in establishing these principles, the more likely their children will develop a strong sense of morality and make wise choices in various situations as they grow up.
How can parents help children develop a mindset that values others’ property to prevent legal violations when they become adults?
Helping children develop a mindset that values others’ property from an early age is not just about teaching them good manners but also an essential part of moral and legal education, contributing to the prevention of legal violations as they mature.
This requires close, consistent, and long-term involvement from parents, who play a significant role in shaping their children’s social awareness and behavior through role modeling and establishing clear rules. Firstly, parents need to help children understand the concepts of “property” and “ownership” using simple, relatable explanations in their daily lives.
For example, when a child wants to play with a friend’s toy, a parent might ask: “Did you ask your friend for permission first?” “If you don’t want anyone to use your toys without asking, you should also respect your friend’s belongings, right?” These everyday situations are golden opportunities to teach children about respecting boundaries and valuing others’ property.
Secondly, parents should lead by example. Children learn most effectively through observation. If they witness their parents consistently practicing principles such as knocking before entering someone’s room, asking permission before borrowing, and returning items to their proper places, they will naturally absorb and emulate these respectful behaviors.
When adults inadvertently infringe on others’ property without explanation (e.g., a father using the mother’s phone without asking, or a parent throwing away a child’s toy without notice), it may convey the message that “adults have the right to do so,” blurring the lines between right and wrong.
Thirdly, parents can teach children about the consequences of violating others’ property rights, not by threatening legal repercussions but by outlining age-appropriate outcomes. For instance: “If you take your friend’s pencil without asking, they will feel sad and lose trust in you. In the adult world, such actions are considered theft and can lead to severe legal consequences.” Discussing consequences calmly but clearly will help children associate their behaviors with responsibility and legal implications.
Fourthly, parents should encourage children to develop a sense of ownership and savings towards their possessions. When children learn to cherish what they have earned through labor, savings, or well-deserved rewards, they will more easily understand and respect others’ belongings.
Additionally, through activities like sharing toys, donating clothes, or giving away old books, parents can teach children to value possessions, develop empathy, and understand that the worth of an item lies not only in its monetary value but also in the emotions, trust, and social significance attached to it.
Lastly, parents should establish a fair and consistent educational environment at home. When children act appropriately—by asking permission, returning items, or taking responsibility for their mistakes—parents should offer timely praise and recognition. When they violate these principles, parents should firmly address the issue, requiring them to take responsibility in an age-appropriate manner (such as apologizing, compensating, or repairing the damage) instead of overlooking their actions or solving the problem for them.
This consistent and fair approach to daily interactions will shape their sense of law, morality, and self-respect. In summary, to ensure that children grow up without violating laws related to property, parents must be their first teachers and clear role models, guiding them through specific behaviors in their daily lives.
When children understand the value of property, respect others, and take responsibility for their actions, they will have a solid foundation to become law-abiding and morally conscious citizens in the future.
“Nurturing Good Habits from a Young Age: Empowering Playtime Energy Breaks”
Transform recess into an opportunity for children to recharge, refuel, and rejuvenate their bodies and minds.
The Savvy Parent’s Guide: 3 Smart Strategies to Combat Bullying
The way parents react when their child is being bullied is crucial to helping them overcome this challenging phase.
“Teen Girl Alert: Are These Two Traits a Recipe for Early Romance? Parents, Take Note.”
The attitude of parents is of utmost importance when discussing matters of the heart with their children.
The Shape of Your Child’s Face: A Window to Their Personality?
Recent psychological studies have revealed an intriguing connection between facial features and a child’s personality traits.
The Straight-A Student: Unlocking the Secrets of Top Academic Performers
Parents need to start early to help their children establish a solid foundation and study habits.
