Tết is a precious occasion for us to spend time with our loved ones, friends, and those we care about. Gatherings bring a warm atmosphere and a feeling of happiness when reunited.
However, in New Year celebrations, sometimes conversations revolve around sensitive issues such as salary and bonuses. This is a topic that is often seen as impolite. Some people may ask out of curiosity, while others ask for silent comparison, and there are even cases where they ask with malicious intentions such as gossiping, criticizing, or envy.
Regardless, to maintain the positive atmosphere of Tết, there needs to be a tactful way to answer so that you feel comfortable and the person asking feels satisfied. Here are some ways that emotionally intelligent people often use to respond when asked about “How is your year-end income?”:
Vague response
To avoid being compared, you don’t necessarily have to disclose the specific number of your income. You can choose to give a vague answer to keep personal information private. For example, Khanh Luong from China was once asked about his Tet bonus income.
He answered tactfully: “My salary in this city is just average, nothing special to mention. We young people in big cities face many challenges like getting married, raising children, buying cars, buying houses, and we need to save, so life is not always easy.
In fact, I feel a bit ashamed that after many years of graduation, I still haven’t saved much. I admire the frugality of young people and know that I need to learn more from them.”
The relative, after hearing this answer, did not ask further or try to pry further.
Alternatively, you can also respond in a general way like: “Tet bonus? It’s just okay, nothing remarkable.”; “My income is enough to get by day to day.”; “My salary is just average.”
These non-specific responses signal that you don’t want to share details and polite people will understand and not dig deeper.
Change the subject by asking a question
When a relative asks about your income, and you feel uncomfortable revealing it, changing the subject can be a clever option. This approach shows not only your sensitivity to emotions but also keeps the atmosphere from becoming awkward.
Xiao Wang in China has faced a similar situation when asked about his salary. He realized that although the person asking had no malicious intentions, the topic of income is quite private. Instead of outright refusal, he shifted the conversation: “There’s nothing much to say about the salary, but the job is very demanding, often requiring overtime. Are you interested in trying this job?”
The relative, realizing that they couldn’t extract more information, awkwardly changed to a different topic.
Or you can also use a question to divert the conversation: “My income is not that high. You know, when will it be my turn to be considered for a raise?”; “Oh, I don’t earn much. The cost of living is so high now, it’s hard to save. How about you? How do you manage your expenses?”
With these responses, you not only avoid hurting others’ feelings but also maintain your privacy.
Sharing unnecessary information about bonuses does not bring any benefits. Besides those who are simply curious, there are also cases where people ask to borrow money or ask for favors. If they know you have a significant income, it will be harder to refuse their requests.
Furthermore, disclosing income can unintentionally create unnecessary competitive pressure, affecting your relationship with others.