Money can strengthen or destroy relationships. Borrowing money is something many people do when they are in need. However, from the lender’s perspective, debt collection can sometimes be tricky, especially when the borrower is not proactive in repayment and shows no gratitude.
Xiao Li, a 29-year-old man from Shenzhen, China, helped a friend with a loan of 2,000 NDT but after two months, it still hasn’t been repaid. Despite trying various reminders, when he asked for the money back, the borrower accused Xiao Li of being stingy, leading to tension in their relationship. This illustrates the “easy to borrow, hard to repay” situation in relationships and raises the question of how to smartly demand repayment without damaging the bond.
Here are 3 approaches you can consider:
Evoke financial storytelling
Some people worry that directly addressing debt collection may affect personal relationships. However, tactful individuals know how to subtly bring up financial topics without making themselves feel awkward when mentioning debt.
In conversations, you can share more about recent financial issues and expenses you have had to bear. This subtly reminds the other person of their debt to you and also shows them that your financial situation is not optimistic at the moment.
When you frequently reference money matters, a conscientious person will understand it as a hint that they need to make the repayment. If they are unable to pay immediately, they will likely apologize, provide reasons, and even let you know when they can repay.
Show your own difficulties
If subtle suggestions don’t yield results, you may need to switch to a more direct approach that still maintains empathy, so the borrower understands and is willing to arrange repayment.
While discussing with the borrower, start by sharing your own financial challenges. Then gradually transition to asking about their current economic situation and emphasize that you are also in urgent need of money.
For example, you can say, “Lately, I’ve been facing some financial difficulties. A family member of mine needs medical care, which requires significant expenses. My finances are tight at the moment. Do you remember that you borrowed money from me last month? How is your recent business situation? Can you repay me a portion in advance?”
This approach not only informs them of your difficult situation but also gives them an opportunity to explain or propose a repayment plan. Usually, when they understand your urgent circumstances, the borrower will feel motivated to arrange repayment, at least partially, reducing the financial burden on you.
Put the responsibility on the other person
If, after applying both subtle approaches, your colleague still doesn’t take the initiative to address the debt, you may need to use an indirect method that requires finesse in handling the situation. One way is to engage in shopping activities together with the person and create an opportunity for them to pay the bill, using this as a reminder for them to repay the debt.
For example, you can invite the borrower to go shopping at a mall, and when you find an item equivalent to the amount borrowed, you can ask them for help in paying, using an excuse like forgetting to bring your wallet or having an issue with your payment card.
When they agree to pay, you can take advantage of the opportunity to gently remind them, saying “Thank you for your help. I will consider this as repayment for the money you borrowed earlier.”
This approach may make you feel slightly uncomfortable, but if the person prolongs the repayment beyond necessary, sometimes you need to resort to a more decisive measure. While not an ideal choice, it can be an effective way to recover at least a portion of the debt without alienating the other person.
