The Do’s and Don’ts of Being a Good House Guest: What Not to Gift Your Hosts

6 November, 2024

In the past, people held hospitality in high regard and treated their guests with great care. Likewise, when visiting someone’s home for a meal, it was customary to bring a gift, never arriving empty-handed. This was a sign of good manners and respect. However, there are three types of gifts that our ancestors advised against giving when visiting someone’s home.

Refrain from Giving Used Items

Even if they are valuable, used items are not suitable gifts when visiting someone’s home. This is because, as a guest, you are being treated with importance, and you should reciprocate that respect to your host. In this context, the relationship may not be close enough to warrant giving a used item. Moreover, giving used items can imply that you are bestowing charity upon the recipient, or that you are passing on something you no longer want or find useful. This could bring bad luck to the recipient and cause discomfort.

Even if the used item is still in good condition, it may not be appropriate as it lacks the necessary solemnity when visiting someone. Giving used items can lead to misunderstandings and strain the relationship, as the recipient may feel disrespected. This could turn a positive relationship sour, leading to suspicion and resentment. It may also affect your work and collaborations, causing financial losses and damaging your reputation.

In cases where there is a close relationship, it is acceptable to give used items, but not as gifts. Gifts should be new and purchased specifically for the host. Many people may interpret receiving used items as a sign of disrespect and gradually distance themselves. Additionally, in the past, it was believed that giving a used item could bring bad luck to the recipient’s family, create a major taboo in feng shui, and also bring bad luck to the giver.

Gifts of Excessive Value

In contrast to used items, gifts of excessive value can also be inappropriate when visiting someone. These expensive gifts often carry connotations of bribery or children showing filial piety to their parents. As such, a gift of high value may create a sense of indebtedness in the relationship, which is not desirable.

Expensive Gifts May Cause Suspicion and Hesitation

Gifts exchanged during visits are meant to symbolize mutual interest and care, bringing joy and strengthening the bond between the giver and the recipient. However, a gift of excessive value can evoke suspicion or hesitation from the host. They may feel uncomfortable accepting such a costly gift, wondering if there are any hidden motives or fearing that they will be indebted to the giver. Expensive gifts can also imply that the giver may ask for a difficult favor in the future, causing the recipient to be on guard. Furthermore, a gift of significant value could even cause legal troubles for the host.

Therefore, when visiting a friend, it is advisable to choose a gift that is commensurate with the relationship, rather than something overly expensive. A gift of high value may create distance and pressure in the relationship, making a previously pleasant and light-hearted connection feel burdensome and strained. If the relationship is business-related, your counterparts may try to avoid you, which could negatively impact your financial and career prospects.

Gifts That Are Taboo According to Religious Beliefs

Certain gifts carry negative connotations or are associated with bad luck, and it is advisable to refrain from giving such presents, especially when visiting a place with specific local beliefs. For instance, our ancestors advised against giving clocks as birthday gifts, as the word “clock” in Chinese sounds similar to “sending someone off to their death.” Similarly, giving an umbrella as a wedding gift is discouraged, as the word “umbrella” implies separation, and giving pears when visiting someone is avoided, as the word “pear” sounds similar to the word for “separation” in Chinese.

These gifts, though well-intended, may bring bad luck to the recipient and damage the positive energy they have cultivated in their home.

Visiting someone is a significant occasion. The host treats their guests with warmth and respect, and the guests bring gifts as a token of their appreciation. Therefore, it is essential to choose gifts wisely and avoid those that may cause discomfort or bring bad luck.

This information is for reference only.