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My wife and I got married with nothing in our hands, and our families were not well-off either. So I’ve always tried to remind myself to work hard, but perhaps my efforts alone are not enough. If my wife doesn’t know how to be considerate, my hard work will be in vain.
We got married and a year later, my wife became pregnant, but the journey was not smooth. She had a weak constitution and often experienced threatened miscarriages. At that time, she took the initiative to quit her job to stay at home and take care of the pregnancy, and the economic burden fell solely on me.
She stayed with my parents in our hometown while I worked in the city, about 70 kilometers away. Due to my frequent night shifts, I rented a room and only returned home on weekends. Despite this arrangement, my wife was unappreciative and often made subtle complaints:
– I’m craving durian so much, but I dare not buy it because your mother might accuse me of being extravagant.
Sometimes it was durian, and sometimes it was jackfruit. The first time, I rode my motorbike from the city to bring her what she craved, but the next time, I asked her to endure it until the weekend when I could get it for her. However, by the weekend, she would change her mind and say she no longer wanted it. I was annoyed but held back because I understood that her mood swings might be due to the pregnancy.
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But now that she has given birth, she no longer has the right to act so capriciously.
After giving birth, my wife complained that living with my mother was stifling, so reluctantly, I agreed to bring both of them to live in a rented house in the city.
Every day, her only tasks were to take care of the baby and cook a few meals, which she couldn’t even do properly. There were days when I came home from work at 7 p.m., and she still hadn’t finished cooking. The baby would be crying loudly, and I would get annoyed and scold her:
– Your only tasks are to take care of the baby and cook meals, and you can’t even do that properly. Do you know how hard I work all day?
– The baby was feverish and fussy today, and I couldn’t handle it alone. When the baby slept, I fell asleep too, and now I’m just starting to cook. The vegetables are ready, and the rice is cooking.
– Forget it; let’s not eat now. You can cook and eat with the baby. I’ll go out to eat.
After saying this, I went out to eat without caring whether she cooked or not. I wanted to be firm this time so that she would realize her mistake.
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When our baby was seven months old, I suggested that my wife take on some additional work that she could do while taking care of the baby.
– I’m the sole breadwinner, and the financial pressure is immense. You have very little to do at home, so you can take on some additional work like selling goods or taking on projects to do at home. This way, you can earn some money while still taking care of the baby and preparing meals for me.
She agreed, but I didn’t see her take on any extra work, so my salary was spent on rent, food, and diapers and milk for the baby every month.
She didn’t go to work, yet she still couldn’t take good care of our child. Our baby was not even a year old, but he had to go to the hospital several times a month. I felt sorry for my child and worried about the expenses, not understanding how my wife could be such an incompetent mother.
As for the meals, there was no improvement. The last straw was when I had to entertain clients until late at night and asked my wife to cook me a bowl of porridge to soothe my drunk stomach the next morning. I expected a delicious bowl of porridge, but when I finished brushing my teeth and walked into the kitchen, I saw a bowl of porridge that looked like it was cooked by Thị Nở for Chí Phèo.
– I’ve told you many times that when cooking porridge, you must add scallions. Your porridge looks like congee without any scallions or meat. It doesn’t look appetizing at all.
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– I didn’t go to the market this morning because the baby woke up early. I only had a little meat left in the fridge, so I put it in the porridge. If I went to buy scallions, who would take care of the baby?
– It’s always about the baby. Do you think being a stay-at-home mom makes you a queen? Taking care of the baby is easier than my job.
After saying this, I dumped the porridge into the trash and went to work. Before leaving, I scolded my wife again:
– You wanted to stay at home, so I let you. You wanted to bring the baby to the city, and I agreed. Now, you can’t even handle taking care of the baby and cooking properly. This is the last time; don’t make me angry again.
That night, when I returned from work as usual, the house was dark. I entered and didn’t see my wife and child as usual. I called her dozens of times, but she didn’t answer. I was annoyed that she had taken the baby out without telling me where they were.
As I opened the wardrobe to change my clothes, I was surprised to find that my wife and child’s belongings were missing. I started to panic and searched the whole house. When I opened the fridge, I was shocked to see it filled with scallions, both fresh and dried.
Inside, my wife left a note: “You like scallions so much, so I bought you a whole fridge full. Use them for the rest of your life. I’ve taken the baby back to my parents’ house, so don’t look for us. Bring the divorce papers here, and I’ll sign them.”
I was stunned. I couldn’t believe that she would demand a divorce and take our child just because I scolded her for not putting scallions in the porridge. I don’t understand what I did wrong or what I said that was so excessive.
Confessions from reader haian…
Caring for children is a challenging journey, and the role of the wife in this regard is often demanding. When a wife shoulders most of the responsibilities, from waking up in the middle of the night to breastfeed to planning meals and doing household chores, the pressure can become overwhelming. In such cases, the understanding and support of the husband are not only necessary but also a prerequisite for building a happy family.
Husbands should recognize that childcare is not solely the responsibility of the wife. It is a shared duty. When husbands actively participate in childcare, from changing diapers and playing with the children to taking them to school or extracurricular activities, they not only reduce the burden on their wives but also build a closer relationship with their children.
A husband’s support is demonstrated through small daily actions. For example, taking the time to ask his wife about the challenges she faces in raising their children, sharing household chores, or simply spending a quiet evening together as a family can create a more positive atmosphere. This not only makes the wife feel supported but also helps the husband understand the difficulties his wife is facing.
Additionally, when husbands actively participate in childcare, children feel the love and attention of both parents. This not only promotes their psychological development but also lays the foundation for strong family relationships in the future. When children witness their parents caring for and loving each other, they learn positive values about love, sharing, and responsibility.
Let’s work together to build a loving and supportive family environment. A husband’s understanding and support not only lighten the wife’s burden but also create a happy family atmosphere. Remember, love and shared responsibility are the foundation of a happy and thriving family.
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