Nowadays, more and more parents are focusing on developing emotional skills for their children. Kids can behave in a sophisticated and logical manner at home, gradually accumulating calmness and courtesy. However, not everyone understands what makes a high level of EQ in children. In some cases, when a child knows how to behave well, parents often quickly comment that their child has a “high EQ”, even though this is not always accurate.
There are children who are well-behaved and obedient not because they have superior emotional intelligence, but sometimes because they lack genuine care and love. This is truly a signal that parents need to consider and reflect on.
Being overly concerned about others’ opinions
Children who lack love often try to get their parents’ attention, using various methods through words or actions to attract attention from their parents. It is worth noting that they often need praise from their parents and tend to give up their personal opinions to please adults. Children quickly learn to recognize and react based on their parents’ emotions.
Children will develop the skill of “reading facial expressions” of others, and as soon as they realize dissatisfaction on their parents’ faces, they will change or stop their behavior. This is an undeniable sign that the child may be feeling insecure.
Being overly obedient and understanding
Most children have naughty, active moments and make certain mistakes. However, some children suddenly become very obedient, always behaving in a thoughtful and appropriate manner, which can make parents feel proud but also make them wonder why this sudden change has occurred.
Parents are the most important and intimate people to children. If a child cannot or does not dare to express their true emotions, it does not necessarily reflect intelligence or understanding, but it may be a sign that the child is feeling uncertain or worried. In such situations, parents need to reconsider their parenting methods and whether they spend enough time accompanying their children in life or not.
Lack of demands
As children grow up and their consciousness develops, internal needs and desires also become stronger. This leads to children having more demands for themselves and their parents. If a child never asks questions or actively expresses their desires, it may reflect a distant and sensitive relationship between parents and the child. It also shows that the child really needs attention and love from their parents.
How can parents help?
Show affection to your child
Parents need to show affection to their children regularly, through hugs, compliments, presence, and honesty when saying “You are my pride, my child.” Even when the child makes mistakes, parents should adjust their tone when criticizing, while emphasizing that all reminders are for the good of the child. Avoid comparing your child to any other children, as this can increase disappointment and insecurity.
Avoid saying that parents do not love or want to see the child
In any situation, even when feeling angry, parents should not use negative words such as “I don’t love you” or “I don’t want to see you.” Because young children do not have enough ability to clearly distinguish between temporary anger and genuine affection, they may believe that they are truly not loved.
Encourage the child to express their personal opinions
Communication is an important means to strengthen the bond between parents and children. Parents should encourage children to freely express their ideas and emotions, thereby creating conditions for the child to feel comfortable and confident when sharing their own thoughts.
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