3 Toxic Phrases Parents Often Say to Their Children Unknowingly

Here are three harmful phrases that parents often use when raising their children, and this should stop immediately:

1. “Calm down”

Parents sometimes utter this phrase to their children. While you may be trying to soothe and help your child manage their emotions, this phrase can actually make them feel ashamed of their feelings. This will only add to their stress and anxiety.

Instead of telling your child to calm down when they’re sad or angry, try offering specific strategies to cope with these emotions in healthy ways.

2. “This is for your own good”

Parents can’t and shouldn’t assume they are always right. If a parent is sending this message to their child, it’s actually harmful and negatively impacts the relationship.

Parents who make such demands often do so to justify their actions to their children and ensure they are providing a safe and healthy environment.

However, this message leaves children feeling like they have no control over their lives and must blindly follow their parents’ so-called “wisdom” without questioning or thoughtfully considering what’s being said.

Moreover, using power in this way often backfires, as it can lead children to resent their parents rather than respect them.

3. “You need to try harder”

Being told that we’re not trying hard enough can be demotivating, especially since most children already struggle with self-doubt and a sense of inadequacy about their achievements at school or in extracurricular activities.

Telling your child that they need to work harder often only creates stress, pressure, and anxiety without actually increasing productivity or motivation.

Better parenting practices involve engaging with your child respectfully and helping them explore the world in their own unique way.

True wisdom comes from experience, not just obeying parental commands. Support and guide your child, but don’t try to control them to the detriment of their mental, emotional, and social well-being.