“If something makes you angry, don’t hesitate to share it with me!”
Communication is the most profound means of understanding between each of us. If one cannot express his thoughts, no one can read his hidden emotions. Children are no exception.
Often, the feeling of anger stems from the fact that we feel we are not being given due consideration.
For example, a child who is walking with his mother outside and starts crying if he feels he is not keeping up.
If the child keeps quiet, it will be difficult for the mother to understand the reason for the sadness. However, if the child can say: “I can’t keep up with you, Mom!”, the mother will have a different way to solve the problem.
Therefore, when faced with a child with unstable emotions, parents should encourage the child to express his dissatisfaction.
The mother can encourage the child by saying: “You have the right to be angry, but share it with me in words, please!” Such understanding through communication is a simple and effective way to solve any problem.
The mother can encourage the child by saying: “You have the right to be angry, but share it with me in words, please!”
“I want to hear you share, what are you sad about?”
Tears help people release emotions and express needs that are not heard.
Why do children cry? Sometimes, it is a call for attention and help.
A little girl always felt scared when she was faced with the dark and needed the company of an adult every time she needed to go to the toilet at night. When left alone, she often cried.
Her mother, although worried, often scolded her when she cried in fear: “Shut up, or I’ll leave you outside the door”.
As a result, the baby stopped crying, but the fear of the dark became even heavier, evidenced by the fact that she kept covering herself with blankets every night, leading to sweating but refusing to take off the blanket, making her mother feel helpless not knowing what to do.
This is a typical example of focusing only on symptoms without exploring the underlying cause.
Tears are the clearest expression of a child’s needs, and when parents criticize a child for personal feelings rather than finding out the reason for crying, the underlying problem remains unresolved.
The story of the girl who is afraid of the dark is an illustration: after being threatened by her mother to stop crying, the girl’s fear increased.
To help children overcome their fears, it is important to give them the opportunity to express their emotions.
One way to do this is to let the child cry, and then ask: “I understand that you are scared, can you tell me what happened after you stop crying?”
It is important to recognize this. Taking the example of the little girl who is afraid of the dark, her mother only knows that her child is scared, but does not understand the real reason behind that fear.
Therefore, the best way is to let the child express his emotions freely first, and then lead the child to share his problems, this is a wise way to stabilize the child’s psychology.
Instead of having to keep quiet, children need space to express their feelings, from which they can vent their frustrations, fears and sorrows, and finally learn to face and think calmly.
Instead of having to keep quiet, children need space to express their feelings
“You can express your feelings, then share with me what you want.”
Faced with similar challenges or difficult situations, children who know how to express their dissatisfaction will have different reactions and different results than those who do not know how to express themselves.
When faced with difficulties or things that do not go as expected, there are children who often express their dissatisfaction, see everything as too much, cannot do it, or do not want to do it… In these situations, most parents will think that their children are finding ways to avoid it.
However, expressing dissatisfaction is also a form of thinking. It is noteworthy that children who often express dissatisfaction are often able to think quickly and express themselves clearly and coherently.
At that time, the child’s thinking has developed to a certain level, and if parents recognize this potential and give proper guidance, encourage the child: “You can express your dissatisfaction, but explain specifically what you need, what you want”.
By listening to reflections related to the child’s real needs, parents can better understand what their child really needs, and communication based on this need will become more effective, making it easier to reach the child’s heart.
By listening to reflections related to the child’s real needs, parents can better understand what their child really needs
“If you feel shy about anything, don’t hesitate to share it with your parents to get the support you need.”
Every baby has different fears, from fear of spiciness, fear in the dark, to fear of being teased by friends. Parents are often the most intimate and trusted confidant for children in such moments.
Therefore, it is essential to tell children: “If you have any fears or problems, don’t be afraid to let your parents know so you can get the help you need.” This advice is very meaningful because it encourages children to be brave in facing challenges and know that their parents are always willing to help. Knowing that parents are always there and listening will help children feel more secure.
Creating a safe space is important, where children can express their fears and difficulties without judgment or criticism, but be listened to thoroughly.
Encourage children to understand that it is natural to feel fear and that there is no shame in it. Parents can share personal stories about overcoming difficulties or overcoming their fears, helping children feel empathy and know that they are not alone in their fight against their fears.
Expressing dissatisfaction is a form of healthy communication. It allows children to think and express themselves clearly. By listening to their reflections, parents can understand their child’s real needs and communicate more effectively.
Instead of criticizing or ignoring their child’s tears, parents should recognize them as a clear expression of their needs. Allow the child to cry and then gently ask them to share what happened. This helps the child feel heard and understood, and it also teaches them to regulate their emotions.
Suppressing emotions can lead to increased fear and anxiety. In the example given, the girl’s fear of the dark became more pronounced, and she started exhibiting compulsive behaviors like refusing to remove her blanket despite sweating. It’s important to address the underlying cause of a child’s emotions rather than focusing solely on symptoms.
Parents can say things like, “You have the right to be angry, but please share it with me in words,” or “I want to hear you share what’s making you sad.” It’s important to validate their emotions and create an environment where they feel comfortable expressing themselves.
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