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4 Questions to Better Understand Your Child

Many of us find it difficult to ask for help, even as a child. Take it one step at a time. Regularly ask your child if they need any help from you, like cleaning the house or doing homework. Don't hesitate to ask them.

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26 February, 2024

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According to a recent study, adults only have an average of 12.5 minutes per day to talk to their children. Meanwhile, about 8.5 minutes are usually spent on scolding, nagging, and reprimanding, leaving only 4 minutes for friendly conversation.

With that in mind, Bright Side decided to explore how to make the most of the time spent with children each day. And here’s what we found.

Author Jamie Harrington says she always asks her children 4 similar questions every day. She writes, “Ask your child open-ended questions so they can’t just answer with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’. This encourages your child to express their feelings and evaluate their choices.” So what are these magical questions?

1. “How was your day today?”

If initially your child doesn’t want to answer or only responds with “good” or “everything’s fine,” don’t expect them to provide a more complete answer. Instead, tell your child about your day, the things you learned, what made you happy and excited. This will provide your child with a good model and encourage them to tell you about their own experiences during the day.

2. “How are your friends doing?”

You can ask your child about their special friends at school or ask more general questions. This will help your child trust you and open up if they are facing difficult situations.

3. “Did anything fun happen to you today?”

If it wasn’t a fun day or your child can’t remember anything fun that happened, encourage them. You can watch a movie together or play an interesting video game at home. Such activities will help the child forget about the unpleasant things and feel relaxed.

4. “Do you need any help from Mom/Dad?”

Most of us find it difficult to ask for help from others, even as a child. Take it step by step. Ask your child regularly if they need any help, like cleaning the house or doing homework, for example. Don’t hesitate to ask your child about it.

In fact, asking your child if they need your help every day will create an opportunity for you to be there for them when they need you most. However, this does not mean that you should do everything for them.

Frequently asked questions

Communication is key. Ask open-ended questions and create a safe space for your child to express themselves without fear of judgment. Encourage them to share their thoughts and emotions, and actively listen to what they have to say. By doing so, you can gain valuable insights into their world and build a stronger relationship.

Spend quality time together and engage in activities that foster open communication and shared experiences. Create traditions or rituals that allow for regular one-on-one time, where you can have meaningful conversations and create lasting memories. By showing genuine interest in their life and experiences, you can build a deeper connection with your child.

Provide a stable and loving environment, and be a consistent source of support and encouragement. Teach them healthy coping mechanisms to deal with difficult emotions and guide them in managing their feelings in a positive way. Help them develop emotional intelligence by recognizing and labeling their own emotions, as well as understanding and empathizing with the feelings of others.

Look for changes in their behavior, mood, or performance. If your child is struggling academically, socially, or emotionally, it may be a sign that they need additional support. Pay attention to any signs of anxiety, depression, or other mental health concerns, and seek professional help if needed. Remember, it’s always better to err on the side of caution and seek guidance early on.

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