As a mother, I understand that the journey of raising children is not always easy. We always want the best for our children, but sometimes we feel overwhelmed by the myriad of different parenting methods. Today, I want to share with you five golden principles distilled from Vietnam’s top psychology experts to help us accompany our children more effectively.
Learn to “Squat”: Listen to Your Child with Your Heart
According to Dr. Nguyen Thi My Hanh, a psychology and education expert at VnExpress newspaper, “squatting” in communication with children means that parents need to humble themselves spiritually and put themselves in their child’s position to truly understand them. This requires us to listen actively – focusing on their words, body language, and emotions.
Instead of rushing to judge or offer advice, try asking open-ended questions like, “How do you feel?” or “What do you think you should do?”. Genuine listening builds trust and encourages children to share more.
Cultivate “Detachment”: Give Your Child Space to Grow
It may seem contradictory, but “detachment” here doesn’t mean indifference; it means curbing the instinct to overprotect your child. Ms. Pham Thi Thuy, a master’s degree holder in psychology and advisor to the Psychology column in Dan Tri newspaper, shares: “Wise parents know to stand back, observe, and only offer support when truly necessary.”
Let your child experience, stumble, and pick themselves up. This is the most effective way to learn. Providing opportunities for them to make decisions and take responsibility fosters their independence and problem-solving skills.
Utilize “Weakness Technique”: Accompany Your Child Through Challenges
When your child faces difficulties, instead of solving their problems for them, turn them into learning opportunities. According to Dr. Le Minh Cong, a psychology expert quoted in the Tuoi Tre newspaper, parents should act as guides, offering suggestions so that children can find their own solutions.
Analyze the issue together, discuss options, and encourage them to choose appropriate solutions. This method not only develops their critical thinking skills but also strengthens the bond between parents and children.
Set “Gentle Boundaries”: Discipline with Love
Clear rules are necessary, but they should always be founded on love and respect. As quoted in the Vietnam Education newspaper, psychologist Dao Le Hoa An emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries: “This helps children feel safe and learn to respect others.”
When establishing rules, explain the reasons behind them and be consistent. Focusing on adjusting behavior rather than criticizing the child as a person makes it easier for them to accept and follow the rules.
Become a “Development-Oriented Parent”: Upgrade Yourself to Accompany Your Child’s Growth
Finally, to be a good role model for your child, parents need to continuously learn and improve themselves. Ms. Nguyen Thi Thu Ha, a psychology expert quoted in Vietnamnet newspaper, asserts: “Parents are the first and most important mirror for their children.”
Reading books, enrolling in parenting courses, and learning from others’ experiences are effective ways to enhance your parenting skills. This not only creates a positive environment for your child’s development but also helps build a better relationship with them.
Conclusion
Parenting is a long journey that requires patience and persistent effort. The five golden principles discussed above – sincere listening, providing space for independence, accompanying them through challenges, setting gentle boundaries, and continuously improving ourselves – all aim toward a common goal: helping our children grow into happy and well-rounded individuals.
Remember, there is no perfect formula for parenting. What matters is that we remain open to learning, adjusting, and accompanying our children every step of the way as they grow.
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