Food & Receipts

5 Things Parents of Successful Kids Avoid That Most Parents Do

Parents of successful children often avoid these five things in order to foster their child's optimal development.

21 April, 2024

Raising Children

Parents of successful children do not spoil their children excessively, but from an early age, they require them to perform age-appropriate tasks and do not immediately meet their children’s demands.

Children who have everything easily will not appreciate it. Parents who love their children too much and spoil them will make them lack self-awareness. Research shows that resilient children tend to get up confidently after a setback, continue to take risks, but with better calculation and preparation. This should be distinguished from harshness. Parents should set reasonable expectations and let their children do age-appropriate tasks themselves. That is also the advice of best-selling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki.

Not spoiling children but letting them be independent is good for them

Parents should create a sense of initiative in their children from an early age so that they learn responsibility and develop skills while doing the work. Esther Wojcicki writes: “The more parents trust their children to do things, the more empowered they become.” Children who are encouraged by their parents to take on tasks will develop more self-confidence than those whose parents meet all their needs.

Punishing Children After Failures

Everyone makes mistakes. Parents’ tendency to impose sanctions on their children does not necessarily make them better. According to American psychologist Amy Morin, punishing children when they make mistakes can send the wrong message, that failure is something to be ashamed of rather than a temporary setback that one can learn from. Therefore, many children will have their will stunted and lose faith in themselves.

Instead of punishing, show your children how to correct their mistakes and encourage them to admit their mistakes.

Therefore, when children make mistakes, parents should accompany them and show them and encourage them to correct their mistakes, emphasizing that correcting mistakes is commendable so that children can confidently conquer challenges the next time. Parents can talk about their failures and how they overcame them. If not, parents can buy books about overcoming failures for their children to read.

Pessimism

Parental pessimism makes children tired and disappointed in themselves. Educational psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba told CNBC: “Optimistic children see obstacles as temporary.” When living with pessimistic parents, children are also often scared, anxious, and withdrawn in life, not daring to believe in their ability to break through. Therefore, parents avoid passing on negative pessimistic emotions to their children. When parents are optimistic, it teaches children optimism and gives them a better perspective on all matters in life. If your child is going through something sad, you can say, “It’s okay, I’m here for you” instead of sighing and complaining about your child’s failure.

Irritability When Children Ask Many Questions

Although children sometimes ask many questions that give their parents a headache, if you answer them patiently, the children will develop well, but if you are annoyed and forbid them to ask, they will be afraid. Parents’ fear and discouragement will cause children to stop thinking. Research shows that children learn more and remember what they learn when they are actively curious.

Good parents always prioritize their children’s learning and understand the importance of arousing curiosity and answering questions.

Overreacting to Children’s Affairs

Children’s misfortunes will make parents sad, but if you overreact to them, it will not solve anything better and will only make children tired. Parental anxiety can negatively affect a child’s mental health, potentially leading to conditions such as depression, demotivation, and many other problems. Moreover, when children see their parents being too anxious about them, they feel guilty and will withdraw.

In short, the process of raising children requires parents to put in a lot of effort, if possible, avoiding some mistakes in raising children, this process will be much easier.

Frequently asked questions

According to psychologist Amy Morin, punishing children for their mistakes can send the wrong message, leading them to believe that failure is shameful rather than a learning opportunity. Instead, parents should guide their children to correct their mistakes and encourage them to take calculated risks.

Parental pessimism can make children tired, disappointed, and scared. Optimistic parents, on the other hand, teach their children to view obstacles as temporary and provide them with a more positive outlook on life.

Answering children’s questions patiently fosters curiosity and promotes better development. Discouraging questions may cause children to stop thinking and hinder their learning process.

Overreacting to children’s misfortunes does not solve problems but instead, adds to their burden. It can negatively affect a child’s mental health and lead to feelings of guilt and withdrawal.