1. Academic Excellence for Self-Preservation

This is a classic misconception among Vietnamese people, fostering a harmful sense of selfishness passed down through generations. We encourage our children to become solitary trees, each striving for their sunlight.

Consequently, the sense of community among Vietnamese people is almost non-existent. Jostling for space on the road or in the office, or even during festivals, vividly illustrates this point.

Parental aspirations and dreams imposed on their children. (Illustrative image)

2. Imposing Your Dreams on Your Children

We nurture dreams for our children even before they are born, aspiring for them to become doctors, engineers, directors, or anything else we couldn’t achieve ourselves. And we deceive ourselves into believing that these aspirations are for their benefit, when in fact, they mask our own selfishness. This pressure placed on their shoulders can rob them of their happiness.

So, respect your children’s dreams, hobbies, and unique personalities, and consider them a wonderful gift, making parenting a more enjoyable and fulfilling experience.

3. Comparing Your Child to Others

Most parents want their children to “keep up with the Joneses,” and this competitive mindset often leads to unintentional or deliberate comparisons with other children. This can cause long-term harm, as constant comparisons breed envy and low self-esteem in children.

Your child may eventually try to push others down to prove their superiority, which is certainly not a desirable outcome.

Children need their own time and space to explore their interests and strengths, rather than being constantly urged by parents to do things according to their wishes. (Illustrative image)

4. Constantly Urging Your Child

Some mothers become anxious when they see their children neglecting their studies or having too much free time, and they feel the need to push them to study, go to the library, etc. Parents often urge their children to do this and that, leaving no room for the child’s own interests and desires.

Children need their own time and space to explore their interests and strengths, rather than being constantly urged by parents to do things according to their wishes. This pressure can lead to a mechanical and passive mindset in the long run.

5. Fulfilling All Your Child’s Demands

Nowadays, there is a common complaint that children are overly indulged and provided for, leading to laziness and a lack of discipline. If you fulfill all their demands and cater to their every need, they will never understand the value of earning something.

When children feel that all they have to do is ask, they will never grasp the hardships and struggles of earning a living. So, remember that while you can provide for their essential needs, you don’t have to fulfill every desire.

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