Do Smart Kids Get Scolded Less Often? The Shocking Truth Parents Need to Hear

A new study reveals that children who are frequently scolded by their parents may suffer negative consequences on their IQ. Find out how words can impact your child's intellectual development and learn more positive parenting approaches.

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American sociologist, Mori Strauss, conducted a study on the intelligence levels of 806 children aged 2 to 4 in the United States. Four years later, he carried out a second survey. The results showed that the average IQ of children who were rarely or never scolded was about 5 points higher than those who regularly faced verbal abuse. Strauss concluded that “frequent scolding hinders children’s intellectual development.”

Results from another study by sociologist Mori Strauss, involving over 17,000 college students from 32 countries, indicated a direct correlation between parental scolding and the average IQ of children in these countries. Specifically, countries with higher rates of parental scolding had lower child IQs.

While not all verbally abused children lose their cognitive abilities, they are at risk of developing inferior intelligence compared to their peers. Strauss emphasized that children who regularly endure scolding from their parents will develop a “fight or flight” response mechanism. The way a child chooses to react or avoid will affect their creativity and imagination, which in turn impacts their IQ.

While not all verbally abused children have impaired cognitive abilities, they are at risk of developing inferior intelligence.

In another experiment, researchers used brain scanning on two 3-year-olds: one who regularly received praise and the other who was often scolded. The brain images showed a significant difference; the scolded child had a much smaller brain size. Smaller brain size equates to inferior intellectual development.

Dr. Martin Techer from the Harvard Medical School also found that children who are frequently insulted by their parents have an average IQ of 112 when they grow up, 12 points lower than those who do not experience verbal abuse.

In psychology, there is a concept known as the “suggestion effect.” When parents scold their children, they inadvertently convey negative psychological messages, causing children to internalize them as low self-esteem over time. As a result, they may see themselves as “naughty” or “stupid,” often stemming from their parents’ words.

On the other hand, children who grow up in a loving environment tend to develop more positively, becoming more tolerant, kind, and likely to achieve success in the future.

Many people believe that “shouting” can be considered a method of disciplining children, as long as it does not involve physical violence. However, the reality is that children face tremendous psychological pressure when subjected to scolding.

Children face tremendous psychological pressure when subjected to scolding.

In the TV show “Super Parents,” a mother frequently shouted at her child. To help her realize the impact of her actions, the show’s team played back a recording of her own shouting voice. Upon hearing it, she broke down, knelt, and covered her ears, her body shaking at the frenzied sound she never thought was hers. If adults cannot withstand the negative energy of scolding, how can children?

Professor Shanta Dube, Director of Community Health Programs at Wingate University, stated that verbal abuse can have lifelong negative consequences. The constant scolding and nagging from parents, teachers, or coaches during childhood can lead to issues such as anger, depression, and mental decline in children.

According to a World Health Organization (WHO) study, while physical and sexual abuse of children has decreased, emotional abuse is on the rise. This has prompted researchers to focus on this behavior and conclude that the spread of verbal abuse needs to be assessed and intervened appropriately.

Jessica Bondy, founder of Words Matter, an organization protecting children from verbal abuse, emphasized that adults sometimes scold children due to life pressures. They need to be aware of their actions and take responsibility for stopping them to prevent harm and allow children to develop holistically.

While parents may discipline their children to teach them right from wrong, if this turns into abuse, especially verbal abuse, it becomes a counterproductive method that drives a wedge between parents and their children.

Words Matter encourages adults to avoid shouting or belittling children during conversations. They should think carefully before speaking and strive to heal children’s emotions if hurtful words are inadvertently spoken.

Frequently asked questions

There are several reasons why smart kids may get scolded less often. One reason could be that they have a better understanding of rules and boundaries, and are therefore less likely to break them. Additionally, smart kids may have better communication skills, which can help them explain their actions or negotiate for what they want in a way that avoids conflict.

Not scolding children frequently can have several benefits. First, it can help to preserve their self-esteem and confidence. Additionally, it can teach them to take responsibility for their actions and learn from their mistakes without feeling ashamed or embarrassed. It can also encourage children to develop their own problem-solving skills and build resilience.

Parents can try using positive discipline techniques such as setting clear rules and consequences, offering choices, and using time-outs. It’s also important for parents to model the behavior they want to see in their children, such as staying calm and respectful during conflicts.

Scolding children too often can have negative consequences on their mental health and well-being. It can lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. Additionally, it can teach children that they are only loved and accepted when they behave in a certain way, which can be damaging to their sense of self-worth.

Parents can strike a balance by using positive discipline techniques as their primary form of discipline, and reserving scolding for more serious offenses. It’s also important for parents to explain the reason for the discipline and to offer guidance and support to help their children make better choices in the future.
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