The Ancient Child-Rearing Method: “Mother Takes 3 Steps Back, Father Takes 2 Steps Forward”

To successfully raise children, parents need to keep in mind the two principles below:

Principle 1: What is “Mother takes three steps back”

1. Mother doesn’t overprotect

A mother’s love is always the most nurturing, protective, and sheltering. This unconditional love is what every child needs to thrive.

However, if you’re raising a boy, let him learn to overcome challenges and become a strong, resilient man, both physically and mentally. He needs to be the pillar of strength for his future family.

Even when he falls, cries, or needs help, it is wise for a mother to take a step back and let him learn from these experiences.

2. Mother lessens the nagging

As mothers and women, we tend to use gentle and careful words when speaking to or teaching our children.

But when a child disobeys or misbehaves, it’s easy to overreact and nag. Research shows that boys or men who are nagged at tend to react the most strongly to it. It’s as if they’re protecting themselves.

Constant nagging can also cause deep wounds, destroying a boy’s sense of inner security, and eventually, he may lose the courage to explore the world.

A boy without courage is like an eagle with a broken wing, unable to soar in the vast sky.

A wise mother understands that in raising a son, love, attention, and care are most important. Sometimes, she needs to take a step back and let go a little.

3. Mother doesn’t control

Many mothers worry about their children’s every move and thought. They believe that if they don’t control their children, something terrible will happen.

They also fret over their children’s mistakes, thinking that they should never make wrong choices, and they can’t accept their failures.

This over-control can lead to a loss of autonomy and a more negative outlook in children. A mother’s control is not an act of love but a form of harm.

Give your children the freedom to develop independently and teach them how to be self-reliant and take charge of their lives.

Principle 2: What is “Father takes two steps forward”

1. Father spends more time playing with his children

One of the most important things a father can do is spend time playing with his children. It doesn’t matter what they do as long as they’re together and communicating.

Psychologists suggest that even if a father is often away, he can still be a “quality friend” to his son by playing with him when he’s home.

The role of the father is crucial, even when the boy is young. Making mud pies, playing soccer, wrestling, cycling, or cooking together—these shared moments bring joy to any child.

Children raised with a father’s influence tend to be braver and more responsible.

2. Father is a role model for his children

In raising a son, fathers should also cherish the time spent together. This is a precious time for both father and son and the entire family.

With a calm and loving mother and an enthusiastic and cheerful father, a son will grow up to be healthy and shine brightly.

A father is seen as the best role model for his son. He may be a man of few words, but his love is always abundant.

When a man sets a good example, his son will grow up to be independent, strong, and passionate.