A story shared by a kindergarten teacher named Ms. Zhao (China). She shared that one day when all the students had been picked up by their parents, only Xiao Mei was left waiting. Ms. Zhao stayed back with the little girl, assuming her parents were running late.
However, as time passed, neither of Xiao Mei’s parents arrived. Ms. Zhao then tried calling them but to no avail. Many attempts were made to reach them, but no one answered her calls.
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That day, Ms. Zhao had no choice but to take Xiao Mei home with her and let the girl rest at her place while waiting for her parents to contact her. Throughout the evening, Ms. Zhao kept a close eye on her phone, but there were still no calls from Xiao Mei’s parents.
Strangely, the next day when Ms. Zhao brought Xiao Mei to school, her parents still didn’t show up. Xiao Mei was an understanding child; despite her parents’ absence, she didn’t cry or cause any trouble for Ms. Zhao. She obediently followed the teacher’s instructions, which surprised Ms. Zhao even more.
After three days of unsuccessful attempts to reach Xiao Mei’s family, Ms. Zhao discussed the situation with the school principal. They decided to look through the girl’s backpack for any address or contact information. To their surprise, they found it packed with her clothes.
Sensing something amiss, the school authorities quickly sought help from the police. Eventually, Xiao Mei’s grandparents’ address was found, and the whole truth was revealed.
It turned out that Xiao Mei’s parents had recently divorced, and to be precise, neither of them wanted anything to do with the child anymore. During their arguments, the father left, abandoning Xiao Mei and her mother. The mother also thought, “Why should I take care of this child?”
In the end, Xiao Mei’s mother packed her daughter’s clothes into her backpack and sent her to school, thinking that her grandparents would pick her up after classes. However, because they were unaware of this arrangement, they didn’t come to get her. Learning about Xiao Mei being abandoned by her parents after their family fell apart, everyone was touched by the little girl’s plight.
Many people condemned the parents’ actions, while others believed this was just a story fabricated to gain attention on Chinese social media due to some illogical details. For instance, why did the teacher wait until the third day to check Xiao Mei’s bag? Wouldn’t she have checked the students’ bags for any dangerous items or to ensure they weren’t carrying anything heavy during class?
Regardless of the story’s authenticity, it serves as a lesson for parents facing similar circumstances. Besides the story above, there are also many other unfortunate children.
For instance, a two-year-old boy left at a train station by his parents after an argument. In April 2020, the boy’s parents had a dispute, and after the mother left, the father also drove off without noticing their son. The situation was only resolved when the police intervened and contacted the boy’s uncle, who came to take him home safely.
As mentioned earlier, every child born is a precious gift from nature to parents. However, sometimes, due to certain reasons, they are inadvertently abandoned by their parents and become victims of their arguments and separation.
Parental conflict and disharmony significantly impact children:
– Children may develop personality defects: Those growing up in an incomplete family often face issues with their character formation. Some may become sensitive and lack self-confidence, while others may turn shy and timid. Some may withdraw or rebel, while others may become irritable and even violent. These defects can have long-lasting effects on their psychological and social development.
– Children lack a sense of security: Many children believe that their parents’ arguments are their fault, adding to their psychological burden. Fear, insecurity, and prolonged stress can cause children to lose their sense of safety.
– Children may fear marriage: Constant exposure to parental conflicts may cause children to fear marriage when they grow up or even avoid it altogether.
Therefore, when parents disagree or argue, here’s what you can do for your children:
– Be honest with your children: Explain to them that it’s normal for parents to have different opinions and that nothing is perfect.
– Make up in front of your children: If conflicts arise in their presence, resolve them amicably before your children. Avoid criticizing or scolding each other in front of them. Assure your children that arguments are temporary and that all conflicts will pass.
– Reassure your children of your love: Let them know that despite any disagreements, you still love them.
– Don’t force them to take sides: Tell your children, “This has nothing to do with you.” Don’t burden them with the responsibility for your negative emotions.
And finally, if divorce or separation is inevitable, as in Xiao Mei’s case, make proper arrangements:
– Talk to your children directly: In a changing family situation, communicating about divorce is crucial. Explain the reasons simply, understandably, and age-appropriately. This helps children understand the situation better. Also, create a safe space for them to express their emotions, whether sadness, anger, or worry. Listening to and accepting their feelings will provide support and safety during this challenging time.
– Maintain relationships: Encourage your children to maintain close relationships with both parents. This not only makes them feel loved but also prevents them from feeling abandoned. Engage in joint activities like walks, sports, or movie nights to create memorable experiences and strengthen family bonds.
