The Harsh Words that Cause Children Harm like Sexual Abuse, Parents Need to Wake Up Now

Many people believe that physical abuse with a whip is the only form of violence, unaware that scientists have pointed out that verbal abuse can have similarly serious harmful effects as sexual abuse.

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If you are hot-tempered parents or scold your child, stop right now, because you are committing a very serious crime, no different from someone who is sexually abusing their own child.

A group of scientists at Wingate University (USA) and the Language and Mind Department at the University of London (UK) published a study in the journal Child Abuse and Neglect in early October that verbal abuse and cursing with words is an extremely dangerous form of child abuse.

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Professor Shanta Dube, the current Director of the Community Health Program at Wingate University, stated that verbally abusive words will have lifelong consequences for children. Parents or teachers, grandparents, relatives, neighbors… who scold children in their early childhood will make them prone to anger, depression and mental decline.

The harm of such scolding words is no different from the act of sexually abusing young children, causing long-lasting and even permanent damage, reducing children’s IQ and EQ.

Many parents underestimate verbal violence

We see a slap, a punch as violence, but few recognize that scolding words to children are also dangerous violence. Therefore, verbal violence is still overlooked.

Words Matter, an organization dedicated to protecting children from verbal abuse, has spoken out against adults shouting, insulting, and demeaning children in conversations. They need to think carefully before speaking and take the time to heal the child’s emotions if they unintentionally say something hurtful. The scolding behavior of adults is extremely harmful to young children, as it traumatizes them.

Many parents believe that words are quickly forgotten, sometimes they are under pressure in life and cannot keep calm words with their children. But if they are not aware, the consequences will be unpredictable.

Scolding words are a serious form of abuse

Many people still do not understand child abuse. Sometimes they think that child abuse is only physical abuse and sexual abuse. But in fact, child abuse includes four types: physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, and verbal abuse. Verbal abuse is often openly expressed but overlooked. Moreover, many people are not aware of the harmful effects of words.

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Jessica Bondy, founder of Words Matter, an organization dedicated to protecting children from verbal abuse, emphasizes that adults must recognize and end their behavior so that children have a chance to develop. If parents do not change, the future of their children will be unclear. Nowadays, according to the World Health Organization (WHO), the rates of sexual abuse and physical abuse of children have decreased, while emotional abuse has increased.

Parents must change and protect their children from the scolding of others

Faced with the consequences of verbal abuse, parents need to change their approach to their children. Change now, learn to be patient with your child.

In addition to changing themselves, parents need to pay attention to protecting their children from the scolding of others, such as teachers, grandparents, neighbors, acquaintances… Parents need to take strict measures when they see their children being scolded by others.

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Frequently asked questions

The article emphasizes that harsh words and verbal abuse can have a similar impact on a child’s mental health and development as sexual abuse. Both forms of abuse can cause deep-seated trauma, affecting the child’s self-esteem, trust in others, and overall well-being. The comparison aims to raise awareness about the serious consequences of verbal abuse and encourage parents to choose their words carefully when addressing their children.

Harsh words and constant criticism can lead to low self-esteem and a negative self-image in children. They may internalize the negative messages and believe that they are inherently bad or unworthy. This can result in a lack of confidence, social withdrawal, and even depression or anxiety disorders. Additionally, children who are verbally abused may struggle with trust issues and have difficulty forming healthy relationships in the future.

Parents should be mindful of their choice of words and tone when communicating with their children. Instead of resorting to criticism and harsh language, try to use a calm and respectful tone. Encourage and praise your children for their efforts and good behavior. If you find yourself losing patience, take a moment to breathe and calm down before responding. It’s important to set clear boundaries and discipline your children, but this can be done in a firm yet gentle manner that doesn’t involve verbal abuse.

Positive discipline methods focus on guiding children’s behavior without resorting to punishment or harsh words. Some effective alternatives include using a calm and firm voice to set clear boundaries, offering choices to promote autonomy, redirecting their behavior towards a more positive outlet, using natural consequences to teach them about their actions, and modeling the behavior you want to see by setting a positive example yourself.

It’s important to acknowledge the harm caused and apologize sincerely to your children. Create a safe space for open communication where they feel comfortable sharing their feelings. Work on building their self-esteem by offering genuine praise and encouragement. Seek professional help if needed, such as family therapy, to improve your communication dynamics and heal as a family.