## Don’t Panic When Your Child Is Stubborn
Don’t panic when your child is being stubborn
As a mother, I know the feeling of helplessness and exhaustion when your beloved child becomes stubborn and rebellious. When your child refuses to eat or sleep, or even throws a tantrum in a crowded supermarket, you may have asked yourself, “How did I end up in this situation?” But stay calm, because every problem has a solution. One of the psychological strategies that I have successfully applied with my children is the “Lake Strategy.” This is a gentle yet effective approach that helps parents regain control without damaging their relationship with their child.
What is the “Lake Strategy”?
Imagine a calm lake. When disturbed by a strong force – for instance, throwing a stone – the water will react violently. Similarly, a child’s psychology works in the same way. When scolded or confronted aggressively by parents, a child’s emotions will “stir up,” making them even more difficult to manage. Instead of trying to “fight” your child’s emotions, we need to learn to stay calm, just like how a lake gradually returns to tranquility after the waves.
According to psychologist Nguyen Thi Minh (quoted from VnExpress), “Parents’ calmness not only helps reduce children’s stress but also creates conditions for children to learn to control their own emotions.” This emphasizes that parental calmness plays a crucial role in resolving daily conflicts.
Core Elements of the “Lake Strategy”
Parental Calmness
First, remember that your emotions will directly affect your child. If you lose control, your child will also “stir up.” Take a deep breath and remind yourself that this is just a small challenge.
Listen and Empathize
Put yourself in your child’s shoes. They might be feeling tired, scared, or simply seeking attention. Listening will not only help you understand the reasons behind their behavior but also build trust.
Avoid Direct Confrontation
Steer clear of intense arguments. Instead of saying, “You must do it now!” try asking, “What do you think if we do this together?”
Discover the Root Cause
Stubborn behavior often stems from an underlying reason. Be patient in finding out the cause to address the issue at its source.
Guide Instead of Command
Provide choices for your child, for example, “Do you want to brush your teeth or wash your face first?” This makes them feel respected and more willing to cooperate.
Applying the “Lake Strategy” in Real-life Situations
Situation 1: Child Refuses to Eat/Sleep
Instead of scolding or commanding, gently prepare your child’s mindset by creating a relaxed atmosphere. You can tell stories or sing lullabies to help them unwind. According to research published in the Dân Trí newspaper, using a gentle tone makes it easier for children to comply compared to rigid orders.
Situation 2: Tantrums in Public Places
This is the most challenging moment for parents. Take your child to a quiet place, hug them, and soothe their emotions. Then, talk to them about why they felt upset. Psychologist Le Thi Linh Trang (as quoted in the Tuổi Trẻ newspaper) shares, “Children need to feel safe with their parents to overcome their emotional crisis.”
Situation 3: Resistance to Chores
Explain to your child why participating in household chores is important. You can turn this into a fun game, such as, “Let’s have a competition to see who can fold the laundry faster!”
Benefits of Using the “Lake Strategy”
- Reduces stress for both parents and children: No more intense arguments, but instead, calmness and understanding.
- Builds trust: Your child will feel heard and respected.
- Teaches children emotional control: Through your example, children learn to face their negative emotions.
- Creates a harmonious family environment: Every family member feels comfortable and connected.
Notes on Application
- Patience and Consistency: Don’t expect immediate results. Each child needs time to adapt.
- Flexibility: Not all situations are the same. Adjust your approach according to the context.
- Combine with other positive educational methods: Such as timely praise and encouragement of independence…
Conclusion: Experiment and Observe Positive Changes
The “Lake Strategy” is not a magic solution, but it can bring significant results when applied correctly. As parents, we don’t need to win every argument with our children. Instead, let’s learn to listen, understand, and guide them with love. I believe that with persistence, you will notice positive changes in your child.
Finally, don’t forget to pat yourself on the back. Parenting is not easy, but every small step you take is precious. Start today, and you’ll be on your way to a more harmonious family life!
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