Marriage and having children is a natural thing in society. Many people believe that marriage requires having children to have a connection between husband and wife, to have a complete family, and to have joy. Some people choose to have children even if they are not married because they believe that they need children to rely on in old age as children are the future of parents. So why do you have children and choose to have children?
Because children are the “accident” of parents?
Many people do not or have not decided to have children but when children come, they are accidents in the family planning. And when accidents happen, you have to give birth because you can’t abandon your children. It can be seen that parents have love for their children, but when children are accidents instead of coming in a ready plan of parents, it can affect the psychology of parents and children. Children will feel disappointed because they turn out to be accidents in their parents’ lives. Parents who are not ready may encounter difficulties in terms of finances, work, and emotions in accepting and raising children.
Because having children brings happiness in old age and having someone to take care of?
If you think of having children to have someone to rely on and take care of you in old age, it puts pressure on your children and sees them only as an investment asset of parents. The responsibility of children to take care of their parents is a moral and sacred duty in society. But if parents think they need to have children to have someone to rely on in old age, they turn their children into burdens and hand them debts, with debts to be paid. At that time, the sacred parent-child relationship has turned into a give and take. This makes parents expect and control their children, while children feel the burden of filial duty rather than the love in their hearts.
Having children because society requires it, following societal standards
Many people do not wait for their children to support them, nor do they have children as accidents, but rather because they plan to have children and feel the pressure to have children because it is the societal standard, otherwise not having children is not acceptable. It puts pressure on parents. This can show that parents do not demand anything from their children, but they follow their lives according to societal standards rather than their own inner feelings.
This inadvertently teaches children not to be themselves, to be pressured by society to conform to general standards and not to accept differences,
Parents have children simply because they love them and willingly from the heart
If you are very clear that you want to have children because you love children, want to take care of them, want to be friends with them, then that is a natural and sacred thing from the heart. You will love your children and not control them, you will have children but not demand that they take care of you. Parents who love their children from the heart will not be suppressed by societal pressure and demands on their children, and often gain more love and obedience from their children. Because when natural love gives children wings of freedom, children will love their parents even more.
Not expecting anything in return is the most basic thing in life, a sacred relationship between parents and children. When you willingly give birth, wanting to give birth instead of being pressured by anyone, for any reason, that is the most wonderful thing. Having children with love makes parents truly want to perfect themselves rather than just being burdened by responsibilities, so there will be no complaints or sacrifices with their children. This makes family life and the relationship between parents and children more intimate, gentler.
Children belong to the future, we belong to the past, I do not need children to support me in old age, I only hope that my children will agree to lead me on every stage of their growth. When you love your children like that, on the journey your children go on, you just need to follow along and not demand that your children be a certain way, and your children, even if they fly far away, will always turn their hearts to their parents, so even if geographically distant, parents and children will still be happy. That is true loving life.
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