We work together. She is an optimistic and cheerful person. We always gather around her because she always brings some delicious treats that her mother sends. She often shares them with everyone. Fresh ingredients like vegetables and meat are occasionally cooked by her and shared with the team during lunchtime at the office. We had a chance to meet her mother when she had a car accident and had to be hospitalized. Her mother came to take care of her. They were very close. We visited them and saw them laughing and talking. Then she quickly said, “Mom, you should go home now. I’m fine and dad is waiting for you.”
Whenever we discuss work, she often provides examples about her mother. It could be about her mother catching her husband cheating or separating her older brother from her younger sister. She also shares her mother’s experiences in making snacks. She even tells stories about when she got punished by the teacher for cleaning the restroom while she had a broken arm, and how her mother handled the situation. There was a time when we were preparing a mid-autumn festival party for the employees’ children, and she called her mother to ask for help with the sweet and sour sauce and crispy mushroom dish.
That’s why we admire the mother-daughter bond so much. We once said to her, “You have an amazing mother, she must be very kind.” But she replied, “No, my mother is not kind, she knows what she’s doing. Being kind means being bullied, how can you support the family if you’re kind?” Then she told us about the time when her mother was a civil servant but sold snacks on the sidewalk in the evenings to make extra income. There was a time when someone wanted to take her spot while she was selling, so her mother started a fight. When she saw a man holding her hand, her mother grabbed the water container and raised it, shouting, “How dare an adult bully a child!”
Every time we talk about work, she always mentions her mother. For example, she talks about how her father and stepmother went to a funeral and her stepmother bought offerings. However, on the way there, her father would often buy more because he was worried that her paternal grandmother would think her stepmother was stingy. But he didn’t want to make her sad. Also, when she had a sibling, she was afraid that her mother and father would love the new baby more. But her mother treated all her children equally when it comes to education.
Because of her mother’s fairness, she forgot that her mother was just a stepmother. On her older brother’s wedding day, her stepmother was busy preparing and her mother-in-law came to witness the ceremony and was satisfied with everything.
She also talked about breaking the barriers between them, and she felt lucky. Her birth mother had passed away, so now she only had her mother, and that made up for her early orphanhood. The difficulties in their relationship came from jealousy. When she was little, she heard people talk about evil stepmothers, so she was afraid when her father remarried. Therefore, she promised herself not to implant such fears into young children’s minds because if they believe it, they won’t be able to open up to their stepmothers. And if the stepmother sees herself as just a stepmother, it will create distance and make it difficult to get along. She suddenly realized that fairness in family is important, but fairness in emotions is even more important. For unfortunate children who lost their parents early, don’t make them even more unhappy by threatening them with the idea of a “stepmother”. Have faith in the goodness, and it will be easier for goodness to come, just like my friend and her second mother.
Learning Tips for Parents: 12 Japanese Techniques to Use with Your Children
Discover the 12 principles of teaching children in the traditional Japanese way that parents can learn with Dien May XANH! By instilling these principles when your children are young, you can ensure that they grow up to be obedient, smart and polite, the hallmarks of a successful education in Japan.