This mindset can lead to a habit of self-denial in children, even when they have done well. A small comment can easily make them feel insecure… These signs are often overlooked in girls, as many parents want their daughters to be well-behaved and not cause any trouble.
In reality, such seemingly kind or reasonable behaviors can lead to the formation of a “cheap feeling” in the future, making children unaware of their self-worth, prone to inner conflict, and vulnerable to exploitation.
If teaching is ineffective, parents should try the following five methods to help children understand their value, love themselves, and develop appropriate behaviors and attitudes.
Praise your child – A parent’s evaluation is an important window for a child to understand themselves
Many parents teach their children the habit of repression and not praising them too much…
However, this approach can make children feel that “I am terrible” and “I can’t do it”.
The evaluation that parents give their children should be objective. Whether it is praise or criticism, it should be based on facts.
Criticize when necessary, and don’t hold back on praise when it is due.
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This way, children will know what is right and what is wrong.
The formula for praising children:
– Praise specific behaviors + improve quality + express expectations.
For example, “Today you woke up on time without me having to remind you. You are becoming more and more independent.”
When children understand themselves correctly, they will have a good sense of self-worth.
Encourage children to express their thoughts instead of suffering in silence
Whether it is in friendship or romantic relationships, many people are used to sacrificing themselves, fearing that expressing their thoughts will result in the loss of friends or love.
The key here is for children to understand their emotions and learn how to express them.
The younger the child, the stronger their desire to share with their parents. If parents complain or deny their children’s feelings, they will gradually lose their self-confidence in expressing themselves.
Encourage children to express their thoughts.
For older children, especially during puberty, they need more validation. So, when they express their ideas, emotions, and needs, regardless of whether they are right or reasonable, parents should listen and let them know that their emotions are important.
At the same time, provide positive feedback when they express their thoughts.
“I understand, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.”
Therefore, girls need to be taught how to read their thoughts, understand their emotions, and express them verbally instead of hiding them in silence.
Cultivate their ability to make choices, instead of blindly following others
Children who lack their own judgment are often surrounded by feelings of guilt.
Or, when they lack the ability to make their own decisions, they are easily influenced or forced by others.
When faced with difficulties, they tend to want to back down and ask for others’ opinions when making any decision.
The core of this issue is: Trust and develop their judgment, and give children the power to choose.
In reality, it takes time to nurture a child with independent thinking and their own opinions. So, don’t rush to give your child the right answer. Instead, empower them and frequently ask, “Why do you think so?”
Cultivate their ability to make choices.
– Before going out, let your child choose their own clothes
– When reading books, let them choose their favorite stories.
– Give them a weekly allowance and let them decide how to spend it.
– Encourage them to make their own choices, and don’t worry if it’s not the best decision.
It’s a process of making judgments, choices, and understanding what they truly need in their hearts.
Tell them, “It’s important that you figure out your true needs.”
Foster a sense of propriety and teach children to respect differing opinions
A child with a sense of propriety will easily form good relationships.
A truly confident girl will understand her own thoughts and respect differing opinions.
So, in this case, teach children to think from another person’s perspective and find common ground while respecting differences.
The world has many dimensions. Different people will perceive the same event and react in different ways.
While children express their opinions, it is essential to patiently listen to others’ opinions as well.
A sense of propriety and the ability to think from another’s perspective will help children interact more effectively.
Foster a sense of propriety.
Help children believe that they are valuable and needed
A lack of self-confidence is often accompanied by feelings of depression, low self-worth, and a sense of meaninglessness.
So, the core of this issue is: Build self-confidence and a sense of worth.
When children want to help, parents should agree, even if they make things worse. The process of helping others will enhance their abilities and give them a sense of satisfaction.
Talk about their efforts and progress so that they realize their capabilities and value.
Help children believe that they are valuable and needed.
Girls who feel “needed” for a long time will be confident, warm, and independent.
Raising a child is not something that can be achieved overnight. It starts with the little things in life.
As societal norms change, the characteristics of being well-behaved and obedient are no longer in line with modern values. So, children need to be nurtured with a healthy sense of self-respect, self-understanding, and the belief that they have value to create a better life.
When children grow up with a good educational foundation, self-confidence, and independence, they will be driven to explore, develop themselves, and strive for a wonderful future.
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