Karen Horney, a prominent figure in social and psychoanalytic theory, posits that children have two fundamental needs during their early years: a sense of security and the fulfillment of their desires. The satisfaction of these needs rests entirely on the parents’ ability to provide them. When parents fall short, children may develop feelings of anxiety.
In essence, if parents fail to meet a child’s need for security and consistently provide unconditional, stable, enduring, and reasonable love, the child will experience insecurity.
Generally, when children feel secure, they are more inclined to approach others, communicate, build trusting relationships, and enjoy social interactions. This, in turn, enhances their willingness to engage with others and improves their social skills.
Conversely, if a child lacks security, they may become fearful or reluctant to interact with others. Furthermore, if a child’s sense of security is compromised during social interactions, their social willingness may also be affected.
Chinese scholars argue that a sense of security is the cornerstone of mental health. Only children who feel secure can develop the confidence and self-esteem necessary to establish healthy and trustworthy relationships with others.
Insecure children are more likely to feel isolated, distrust others, exhibit avoidance and aggression, and struggle to form positive relationships. Insecurity is also a potential risk factor for various mental health issues.
So, how can parents assess whether their child feels insecure? Experts suggest that parents can observe and identify insecurity through certain daily habits and behaviors.
Frequent Nail Biting
Sleeping with the Light On, Afraid to Be Alone
Insisting on Sleeping Next to Parents
Overdependence on Parents
Frequent Unprovoked Anger
Anxiety, Shyness, and Insecurity
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