As your child grows, it’s important to foster their confidence, courage, responsibility, and energy. Here are some phrases you can incorporate into your daily conversations to empower your child:
Praise your child – The key to fostering a growth mindset
Professor Roel Dweck of Stanford University highlights the existence of two mindsets: a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. Children with a growth mindset are endlessly curious, constantly seeking self-improvement, embracing challenges, and refusing to accept defeat.
One effective way to nurture this mindset is through regular praise. By commending your child’s efforts and helping them understand that success stems from hard work and their own abilities, you encourage a growth mindset. Avoid excessive praise on general traits like “smart” or “beautiful,” as this may lead to complacency and the belief that success is solely attributed to innate intelligence rather than hard work.
Praise your child often.
Neuroscientific research has found that when children receive praise focused on their efforts, the regions of their brain associated with motivation and reward are activated. This neural response reinforces intrinsic motivation. Children who receive this type of feedback over an extended period exhibit greater persistence when faced with challenging tasks, as they develop a belief that hard work leads to progress.
Instead of solely focusing on the number of correct answers in their homework, acknowledge their focus and perseverance: “I noticed how focused you were tonight, and you didn’t give up easily even when faced with difficult math problems.”
Even in the face of failure, refrain from solely emphasizing the negative outcome. Instead, affirm your child’s efforts and encourage them to keep trying.
Children whose efforts are regularly acknowledged and praised by their parents develop greater inner strength and confidence. They approach life and learning with renewed enthusiasm.
Empathize with your child – Laying the foundation for emotional awareness and regulation
Empathy is a crucial skill for parents to cultivate throughout their parenting journey. By empathizing, parents can utilize love and understanding to support their child’s growth.
Child psychologist John Gottman emphasizes that by helping children identify and express their emotions, parents are fostering emotional intelligence, interpersonal relationships, and academic achievement.
The ultimate goal of empathizing with your child is to help them resolve their problems. Assure your child that you are there for them, providing a sense of security and stability.
Use empathetic phrases with your child.
In psychology, there’s a concept known as the “emotional container.” Proposed by psychologist Bion, this concept suggests that by acting as a large container for our children’s emotions, we can empathize and bear their worries, tears, sadness, helplessness, and even aggression, rather than withdrawing or retaliating.
This approach allows us to see the vulnerability beneath their exterior. Accepting this vulnerability is beneficial for your child’s development.
Allow your child to express themselves – Nurturing their decision-making skills
Psychological development research indicates that the ages of 2 to 5 are crucial for developing autonomy. Children who are regularly given opportunities to make choices during this stage tend to exhibit better executive functioning and problem-solving skills in elementary school, as their brains become accustomed to evaluating options, making decisions, and taking responsibility for the outcomes.
In your daily interactions, create more opportunities for your child to express their ideas and make their own decisions.
Allow your child to express themselves.
“Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the red t-shirt today?”
“Do you want to do your homework before or after dinner?”
“Are you interested in going to the zoo or the science museum this weekend?”
As your child gets older, gradually expand their choices: “What do you think we should do this weekend?”
Encourage them to consider the consequences of different choices: “What might happen if you choose to watch TV before doing your homework?”
Respect their decisions, even if they don’t align with your expectations: “Although I suggested doing your homework first, I respect your choice and hope you’ll take responsibility for your decision.”
The experience of making decisions should be cultivated from an early age to build strength. The more decisions your child makes, the more opportunities they have to express themselves. This will foster their independence and courage in expressing their thoughts and ideas.
Express your love more often – Building a secure attachment
Vietnamese parents often hesitate to verbally express their love for their children, especially as they grow older. This reticence may cause children to feel a lack of love and security.
Neuroscientific research has shown that when children feel unconditionally loved, their brains release oxytocin, a biological response that reduces stress hormone levels and promotes healthy neural development.
As the poet Angelo once said: “Words are like little energy bullets, shooting into the world of life that the naked eye cannot see.”
Express your love often.
Words can destroy, but they can also build up and empower. Positive communication from parents contributes to a child’s positive development and excellence. Parents who know how to engage in meaningful conversations create the best environment for their children’s growth and success.
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