The world of children is truly simple. While warm words from parents can greatly encourage them, unspoken understanding and affirmation often become regrets in their hearts.
“We’re always here for you” – Instilling a sense of security
Little Ah Dou was falsely accused of stealing an eraser at school. He came home in tears and didn’t want to go back to school. Instead of scolding him, his mother gently hugged him and said, “No matter what others say, we believe you. Let’s talk to your teacher together.”
When children face troubles, feel treated unfairly, or are scared, what they need most is reassurance and the feeling of “Someone is on my side”. It acts as a guiding light, making them feel stronger.
The phrase “We’re always here for you” is like fastening a seatbelt, giving children a sense of unconditional love and protection.
Many parents tend to criticize or dismiss their children’s emotions with statements like “We know you’ll make mistakes” or “Why are you crying over such a small thing?” However, they forget that a child’s sense of security lies in simple promises. It’s not just about words but also a commitment that, no matter how harsh the outside world is, there’s a warm and safe haven waiting for them.
Parental understanding and empathy help children overcome difficulties and build a foundation for self-confidence and resilience in facing future challenges. When children feel loved and secure, it becomes a beautiful memory, fostering their growth into strong and resilient individuals.
“You’re doing a great job” – Helping children recognize their self-worth
Little Xiao Wu was learning to play the piano. Frustrated by his mistakes, he angrily threw the sheet music on the floor. His father picked it up, smiled, and said: “Yesterday you only played a part of it, but today you played the whole piece. You’ve made great progress!”
Xiao Wu was stunned for a moment, but then he picked up the sheet music again. This time, his small fingers glided more smoothly across the keys, and the sound that came out was more confident and fluid.
When children work hard, what they fear the most is hearing things like “it’s not enough” or “there are many others better than you.” Such words make children feel that their efforts are not acknowledged. In reality, children are very sensitive to their mistakes and need to be recognized for their hard work.
The phrase “You’re doing a great job” conveys the message that “We’ve noticed your perseverance and progress.” It creates a sense of warmth and encouragement.
Many parents believe that strict demands are necessary to push children to improve, but they forget that self-confidence grows from specific affirmations. Positive encouragement helps children understand that “Even if I’m not perfect, I’m still worthy of recognition.”
It is in these moments that children realize their efforts are noticed and appreciated. By encouraging them in their small strides, parents help nurture their children’s resilient and determined spirit.
“Your thoughts matter” – Teaching children to respect themselves
Little Ah Jing wanted to paint his bedroom blue, but his father thought a boy’s room should be gray. As a result, the child became sad and lost interest in reading when looking at the dull gray walls.
His mother noticed his change in mood and said: “You wanted to paint it blue because it reminds you of the sky, right? How about we paint the headboard blue and keep the rest white? That would look beautiful.” Ah Jing became cheerful again and actively participated in painting his room. He proudly showed it off to his classmates, saying, “I painted my room myself!”
When children have their unique ideas, like wanting to wear clothes that are out of season or draw in unusual ways, parents typically respond with “What do you know?” or “You must listen to me.”
In reality, the phrase “Your thoughts matter” conveys that children are independent individuals whose emotions and ideas deserve respect. This confidence will stay with them throughout their lives, allowing them to express themselves boldly and think independently.
A parent’s words are like seeds. Some grow into tall trees, while others become thorns.
“We’re here for you,” “You’re doing a great job,” and “Your thoughts matter”. These three phrases may seem simple, but they instill a sense of security, value, and dignity that children need the most.
So, parents, don’t wait until your children are grown to say, “We wish we had praised you more when you were young.” Start speaking these words to your children now, for children raised with gentle words will have the confidence to face life’s ups and downs.
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