House rules serve as a roadmap, guiding children on appropriate behavior and what to avoid. Here are three essential tips for parents to effectively implement these rules:
Make rules specific and visible to children
Setting rules is necessary to help children adhere to discipline within reasonable boundaries. Instead of telling your child to “be obedient,” try saying, “You can watch TV for another 10 minutes, and then it’s time to turn it off.” This approach helps children understand the rules and fosters a sense of enthusiasm and self-discipline.
For instance, a mother effectively implemented a rule by writing it on a piece of paper and sticking it next to the TV, clearly stating the time allowance. She also prepared a timer. When the time was up, her son reluctantly accepted that he had to stop watching TV after seeing the note and the stopped timer.
This teaches children self-discipline and time management skills. Instead of feeling forced, they learn to make decisions and accept the end of an activity calmly.
Similarly, another mother established a rule that toys must be put back in their designated places after playtime. She and her daughter found a “home” for each toy, helping the child understand the importance of taking care of her belongings.
Now, the daughter says, “It’s bedtime, little bear,” while her mother tidies up. This approach helps children accept rules more easily and cultivates empathy and responsibility for their toys.
By creating clear and understandable rules and involving children in the rule-setting process, they feel included in shaping their living environment.
Stay gentle but firm when children cry
When children misbehave, refrain from scolding or giving in to their demands. Instead, employ positive education methods to help them understand and take responsibility for their actions. For example, Mrs. Vuong’s daughter wanted an expensive doll, but they had agreed that she could only buy one toy per month.
When the girl realized she couldn’t have the doll immediately, she sat on the floor and cried. Instead of shouting or giving in, Mrs. Vuong sat down, gently patted her daughter’s back, and said, “I know you really want it, but we’ve reached our monthly limit. Let’s buy it next month.”
Parents should further enhance children’s emotional management skills.
After about 15 minutes of crying, the girl noticed her mother’s firmness and love. She eventually stood up and said, “Then, please buy it for me next month.”
To strengthen the child’s emotional management skills, Mrs. Vuong encouraged her daughter to write down the things she wanted to buy in a notebook. This made her feel like she had a plan and was waiting for her turn, thus developing patience.
Avoid double standards in the family
If Dad allows snacks before dinner, but Mom doesn’t, children will take advantage of this situation. Therefore, parents should maintain consistency in family rules and avoid double standards.
Mr. Truong’s family has a clear rule: no snacks an hour before dinner, and even the cakes he brings must be eaten after the meal. Seeing that no one is exempt from this rule, the children gradually stop asking for snacks.
This demonstrates that consistency in rule implementation is key. Ton Tinh Tu, a child education expert, once said, “The life of a rule lies in its execution.”
In reality, many parents witness intense reactions from their children, not because the rules are poorly set, but because they are implemented vaguely or inconsistently.
When the entire family unites in enforcing the rules, children will gradually develop self-awareness and self-discipline.
To prevent this, parents must be consistent and clear in establishing and enforcing rules. Setting gentle but firm boundaries will help children feel safe and understand that “rules are rules.” When the whole family is on the same page, children will gradually develop self-awareness and self-discipline.
Additionally, explaining the reasons behind the rules is crucial. Parents should tell children that not eating snacks before meals helps them enjoy their food more and aids digestion. When children understand the rationale, they are more likely to accept and follow the rules.
Furthermore, parents should encourage children to participate in setting family rules. This involvement fosters a sense of responsibility and decision-making power, enhancing self-discipline and respect for the established rules.