The Psychology Professor’s Take: Uncovering the 3 Parental Mistakes Behind a Lazy Child

Procrastination has become an “invisible shackle” that many children struggle to break free from.

As a renowned child psychologist, Professor Li Meijin has long been concerned about this developmental issue. She attributes children’s tendency to procrastinate to inappropriate parental behaviors during their upbringing.

Over-interference hinders children’s self-management skills

Many well-intentioned parents, in their enthusiasm and expectations, fall into the trap of “organizing and substituting.” From academic plans to daily routines, everything is meticulously arranged by these parents.

While this may seem like a thoughtful form of care, it actually diminishes children’s opportunities for self-management and decision-making. As a result, they gradually lose their sense of time management and motivation to complete tasks.

As Professor Li Meijin emphasizes, “True love is allowing children to experiment and make mistakes.” Parents need to learn to let go reasonably and create space for their children’s independence.

Some parents have a habit of doing everything for their children.

By involving children in planning their studies and daily activities, they can develop self-management skills, even if their initial attempts are clumsy or inefficient. This process teaches them how to plan and fosters a sense of responsibility for their tasks. Through practice, they will gradually develop the ability to proactively complete their work while steering clear of procrastination.

Allowing children to make their own decisions fosters self-confidence, maturity, and a sense of responsibility that will benefit them in the future.

High standards and strict requirements ignore children’s individual differences

All parents aspire for their children’s success. However, high expectations often come with unrealistic standards and demands. Parents tend to compare their children’s achievements with their own experiences or societal norms, neglecting the fact that each child has a unique pace of development and individual differences.

When children fail to meet these lofty expectations, they may feel disappointed and helpless, leading to avoidance or procrastination.

Parents should instill good habits in children from an early age.

As Professor Li Meijin emphasizes, “Each child is unique, and parents need to learn to appreciate these differences.” This requires parents to adjust their mindset and approach their children’s development with tolerance and understanding.

Setting reasonable goals that align with a child’s abilities is essential. Encourage them to excel in areas where they have a talent. At the same time, parents should focus on effort and progress rather than solely on the end result. This way, children will build self-confidence and courage to face challenges while minimizing procrastination. Positive support from parents will motivate children to develop without feeling pressured, allowing them to explore and maximize their potential.

Lack of effective communication and neglect of children’s emotional needs

In today’s fast-paced life, effective communication between parents and children is becoming increasingly rare.

Many parents solely focus on academic results while neglecting their children’s emotional needs and inner turmoil.

When children face difficulties and challenges, they may turn to procrastination as an escape if they do not receive timely spiritual support and understanding. “Listening is the first step in communication.” As Professor Li Meijin points out, parents should be their children’s strongest support system and learn to listen and understand their emotions.

Pay attention to effective communication with your children.

When children exhibit signs of procrastination, refrain from complaining. Instead, patiently inquire about the reasons behind their behavior and work together to find solutions.

Through positive emotional communication, trust, and understanding, children will feel that their family members are there for them through successes and failures. This will give them the courage to face challenges and overcome procrastination.

Children’s tendency to procrastinate does not develop overnight but is often rooted in complex psychological mechanisms and influenced by their family environment. Therefore, parents should also reflect on whether their parenting methods inadvertently contribute to their children’s procrastination.

By letting go appropriately, setting reasonable expectations, and improving effective communication, parents can help their children break free from procrastination and promote their holistic and healthy development.