The Smart Mom’s Guide: 3 Secrets About Your Child This Tet That She Won’t Easily Reveal.

Refrain from discussing your child’s grades

During the Lunar New Year celebrations, the festive atmosphere is often filled with gatherings of friends and extended family. While it’s a time for sharing stories and joy, creating memorable moments, there’s one important thing parents should keep in mind: avoid talking about your child’s grades, whether they are good or bad.

If your child hasn’t performed well academically, questions from relatives about their grades can create unnecessary psychological pressure.

Refrain from discussing your child’s grades.

Questions like “Why didn’t you get a higher score?” or “Are you studying hard enough?” put your child on the defensive and force them to justify their less-than-desirable results. This type of pressure is inappropriate during the Lunar New Year celebrations, which should be a time for enjoyment and family bonding.

Moreover, discussing grades can evoke negative emotions, especially if your child feels they haven’t met the expectations of adults.

Children need a break from the stress of academics and should be allowed to relax, play, and enjoy quality time with their family without worrying about judgments or academic pressures.

More importantly, focusing on grades can undermine your child’s confidence. If their worth is measured solely by academic performance, they may internalize the message that their value as a person is dependent on those numbers.

Minimize mentioning your child’s flaws or mistakes

Many parents have a habit of pointing out their child’s flaws or mistakes in front of relatives. They may think that sharing these stories will help their child realize their shortcomings and improve. However, when parents go into detail about their child’s mistakes and problems in front of extended family, it can feel like a public trial for the child. Comments from adults, even if well-intentioned, can make the child feel criticized, judged, and disrespected.

The feeling of helplessness and confusion, coupled with a blow to their confidence, is certainly not something a child should have to endure. Children are highly sensitive to the reactions of adults, and negative comments can leave lasting psychological scars.

Being exposed to the gaze of others, children may feel ashamed and insecure, leading to a reluctance to express themselves or seek help when needed.

Minimize mentioning your child’s flaws or mistakes.

Their confidence can be severely impacted, hindering not only their personal growth but also their relationships with their parents and other family members. Instead of feeling supported and loved, they may perceive themselves as a burden, a source of worry, and disappointment for their parents.

When your child makes a mistake, guide them with patience, understanding, and acceptance. Creating a safe and nurturing environment where they can discuss their mistakes without fear of judgment is crucial.

Encourage your child to view mistakes as opportunities for learning rather than sources of shame. Help them analyze the situation gently, understand the reasons behind the mistake, and find constructive solutions.

Don’t reveal your child’s private or intimate secrets

Every child has their secrets during adolescence, and they build a “psychological wall” to protect themselves. These are private spaces where children feel safe to confide without fear of judgment or criticism.

However, many parents feel the need to breach this defense mechanism under the pretext of “knowing what’s best for their child.” They believe that delving into their child’s private life will help them mature and make better decisions.

Adolescents need a certain level of independence and privacy. It’s normal for children to have some secrets. When parents cross this boundary, it can create chaos in the child’s world. Probing too deeply or making unnecessary comments can leave your child feeling confused and unsure of how to express their thoughts and emotions.

Don’t reveal your child’s private or intimate secrets.

During the Lunar New Year celebrations, parents may have a lot to share with relatives and friends. They may want to boast about their child’s academic achievements, memorable events, or positive traits. However, your child should not become the main topic of casual conversations.

Being the center of attention in such situations can make your child feel like they are being put on display, which can be detrimental to their self-esteem.

Respect your child’s privacy and create a safe space for them to express themselves freely without fear of judgment. Instead of criticizing or putting them on the defensive, encourage them to share what they are comfortable with.