The post received many comments expressing thoughts and opinions.
A: “I’m afraid to speak up and scared of looking at people.”
B: “I don’t dare to express myself in front of others because I’m afraid of being ridiculed.”
C: “I don’t dare to greet acquaintances, I usually try to avoid them.”
D: “I always feel that I’m not good enough and have no strengths.”
In reality, no one is born with confidence, and whether a child grows up to be confident or insecure is closely related to their daily upbringing.
Sometimes, the things we say and do can unintentionally damage a child’s self-esteem.
Constantly comparing your child to others
Many parents fall into the trap of constantly comparing their children to others and making statements such as:
“Why are you so stupid? Your friend A does so much better.”
“With such poor grades, how dare you play and have fun?”
“Why did I give birth to a child like you?”
For children, parents are the people they trust the most. Their self-perception is largely influenced by their parents’ evaluation of them.
This type of negative comparison can lead to a child feeling inadequate and struggling to meet the expectations set by their parents.
Additionally, when children feel unloved or undervalued, they may seek acceptance from other sources, leading to a need for validation from peers or even unhealthy relationships.
The negative impact of constantly comparing your child to others.
Not giving your child the freedom to choose
Some parents believe that controlling every aspect of their child’s life is in their best interest, but this approach can unintentionally take away their child’s right to choose and make decisions for themselves.
When children are not allowed to make decisions, they miss out on developing essential problem-solving and self-reliance skills. This can lead to a sense of helplessness and a lack of confidence in facing life’s challenges.
By always intervening in their choices, from selecting toys to deciding which activities to participate in, parents may inadvertently foster a sense of dependence and insecurity in their children. As a result, they may become shy, lack confidence, and be afraid to take risks or try new things.
Every child needs the freedom to choose their own path. Allowing them to explore and make decisions teaches them to think independently and evaluate situations, make choices, and accept the consequences of those choices.
By granting them this freedom, you encourage their independence and genuine self-confidence. Letting them experiment and even make mistakes creates a learning environment that fosters growth and maturity.
The importance of allowing your child to make their own choices.
For younger children, parents can start by giving them choices in the following areas:
Here is a list of examples of choices that children should be allowed to make:
– Choosing their outfit for the day.
– Selecting which toys to play with.
– Deciding what to eat during mealtimes.
– Choosing when to study and do their homework.
– Picking an extracurricular activity, such as a sport or an art form.
– Selecting books to read.
– Choosing their friends.
– Planning their daily schedule, such as for a fun day out.
Conditional love
A parent’s love for their child is unconditional, and this is true.
However, in the process of showing love, some parents may unintentionally set conditions, such as:
“I will only love you if you are well-behaved and don’t cry.”
“We will only give you gifts if you study hard and get good grades.”
“You must obey us and excel in piano lessons to earn our love.”
If the child fails to meet these conditions, the parents may withdraw their love and affection.
The negative impact of conditional love on children.
These conditions create invisible pressure and make the child feel that their parents’ love is contingent on meeting certain standards or expectations.
True parental love is not about leaving behind wealth or possessions but about raising a confident, warm-hearted, and happy child. It is built on acceptance and respect for the child as an individual, regardless of their achievements or behavior.
Therefore, it is crucial to encourage and value your child, foster their interests and passions, and allow them to experiment and make mistakes without fear of criticism. Additionally, providing them with the freedom to make choices and explore various possibilities will lead to a more fulfilling life.
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