“Parents Say ‘You’re the Main Breadwinner During Tet’, a Supposed Joke With Unfortunate Consequences”

Illustrative image.

When parents joke about their children being the “main breadwinners,” it may put undue pressure on them to perform, work harder, or achieve something to deserve the lucky money. This could take away the joy and excitement of the Lunar New Year holidays, replacing them with feelings of anxiety and stress.

Therefore, parents should be cautious when using such jokes to avoid creating pressure or misunderstandings for their children. Instead, focus on conveying the beautiful values of family love and mutual respect, making each Lunar New Year a memorable and meaningful occasion for everyone.

Psychologist Quang Thi Mong Chi.

Dear expert, many parents joke about their children being the “main breadwinners” when receiving lucky money during the Lunar New Year. What are the potential consequences of this? Could it lead children to misunderstand the true values and significance of the lucky money tradition?

It is common for parents to joke that their “child is the main breadwinner” when receiving lucky money during the Lunar New Year. However, few realize that these seemingly harmless jokes can have negative consequences on children’s perception of the values and significance of this tradition. Hearing this joke repeatedly may lead children to believe that lucky money is no longer a beautiful custom but merely a “seasonal income.”

Lucky money is meant to convey blessings and wishes for health, luck, and success to children. Nonetheless, when parents joke about their children being the “main earners,” it may gradually shape their perception that lucky money is an opportunity to make money. This could cause them to value material gains over spiritual ones, distorting the essence of this custom.

Additionally, if children view lucky money as an entitlement, they may lack appreciation and tend to spend it extravagantly. Without proper guidance on how to use this money wisely, they may use it for unnecessary purposes instead of learning to save and manage their finances.

On the other hand, some children might overly value lucky money, focusing only on receiving money without appreciating the good wishes and other traditions of the Lunar New Year. Moreover, the statement, “child is the main breadwinner,” could also create a sense of pressure or responsibility that is inappropriate for children.

In some cases, especially in families with financial difficulties, children may feel responsible for contributing financially. This could lead to anxiety about financial matters or a sense of pressure if they do not receive as much lucky money as expected. Some children might also feel obliged to receive lucky money from everyone and become upset if someone does not give them any, losing the innocence and joy of the festive season.

Even though the statement, “child is the main breadwinner,” may be meant as a joke during the holidays, if repeated frequently, it could influence how children perceive the tradition of lucky money. They might misinterpret the traditional values, prioritizing money over emotions, and even develop inappropriate attitudes when receiving lucky money.

If parents overly focus on giving and receiving lucky money while neglecting other values, how might this impact the development of children’s moral values and sense of responsibility?

Lucky money is a beautiful custom during the Lunar New Year, symbolizing blessings and wishes for good fortune. However, if parents overly emphasize the giving and receiving of lucky money while neglecting the spiritual values of this holiday, it could lead to children developing distorted perceptions about money, morality, and responsibility.

This can negatively impact their personality development in several ways. One of the most significant consequences is that children may develop a utilitarian mindset, valuing money over emotions. When parents place too much emphasis on lucky money, children might perceive the holiday as solely about receiving money, rather than a time for family reunion, love, and togetherness.

This could cause them to assess everything based on material worth, comparing the amount of lucky money they receive with their peers, or even feeling disappointed if it doesn’t meet their expectations. If this mindset takes root from an early age, it could influence how they perceive relationships in the future, making them prone to judge others based on financial status rather than moral and emotional values.

Additionally, solely focusing on lucky money might cause children to lose respect for traditions and the spiritual values of the holiday. The Lunar New Year is not just about receiving lucky money but also an opportunity for children to learn about cultural traditions, respect for elders, and participating in meaningful activities like cleaning the house, making traditional cakes, or visiting relatives. If parents fail to impart these values, children might lose interest in the holiday beyond the monetary aspect, leading to a disconnect from their family and a lack of appreciation for essential lessons on gratitude and filial piety.

Another issue is that children might lack responsibility in handling money. If they are merely given lucky money without guidance on how to use it wisely, they may spend it frivolously on unnecessary things instead of learning to save and manage their finances. As lucky money comes easily to them, they might not understand the value of labor and develop a sense of dependency, thinking that they will automatically receive money during the holidays without any effort.

Instead of just giving money to their children, parents should teach them financial management skills from an early age, such as saving a portion, spending wisely, or using the money for educational purposes like buying books or school supplies.

Furthermore, if parents only focus on giving and receiving lucky money, children might become selfish and lack a sense of sharing. When they are solely concerned about the amount they receive without learning the value of sharing, they may become less considerate of others’ feelings, lacking empathy, and unwilling to help those in need. To prevent this, parents can guide their children to share a portion of their lucky money for charitable causes, buying gifts for loved ones, or contributing to meaningful activities.

By learning the joy of giving, children will develop a sense of compassion and appreciate what they have even more.

Another consequence is that children might lose their politeness and respect for elders. Some children who are overly focused on lucky money may exhibit inappropriate behaviors, such as showing disappointment if they don’t receive any, not greeting elders during the holiday, or only waiting to receive lucky money without offering any greetings in return. Such behaviors can cause them to lose their sense of respect and manners.

What situations might arise when parents apply the lucky money tradition inappropriately?

If parents apply the lucky money tradition inappropriately, it could have negative consequences on children’s perceptions, behaviors, and personality development. When children are not properly guided, lucky money can be misunderstood, fostering a utilitarian mindset or creating unhealthy habits in how they view money and life values.

As mentioned earlier, inappropriate application of the lucky money tradition will likely lead to the development of a utilitarian mindset, where children only focus on the monetary aspect. This may influence their attitude when receiving lucky money, such as demanding or coercing others to give them money, or only greeting elders during the holiday if they know they will receive money. If they don’t receive any or the amount is less than expected, they might express dissatisfaction, making others feel uncomfortable.

Another consequence of inappropriate handling of lucky money is that children may not learn to appreciate money and may spend it extravagantly. If parents fail to teach their children financial management skills, they might spend all their lucky money right after the holiday without any planning. Impulsive spending can lead to a lack of savings, an understanding of the value of labor, and a sense of dependency.

As they grow up, these children may struggle with personal financial management and a lack of responsibility in spending. Additionally, they might not grasp the value of sharing, viewing lucky money solely as their personal property, unwilling to share or use it for beneficial purposes. This could lead to selfishness, a lack of concern for those less fortunate, and a lack of habit in helping others.

To prevent this, parents can guide their children to use a portion of their lucky money for charitable causes, buying gifts for loved ones, or contributing to meaningful activities.Not only can inappropriate lucky money practices affect children’s perceptions, but they can also create financial pressure for those around them.

Some parents may think that lucky money must be a substantial amount to show respect, or they may want to show off by giving a large sum. This not only affects children but also puts pressure on families with limited financial means, making them feel uncomfortable if they cannot give a comparable amount.

Another common issue is parents taking all of their children’s lucky money without providing a clear explanation. Many parents have the habit of keeping their children’s lucky money with the reason of “saving it” but without specifying the purpose or how it will be used. This may cause children to feel a loss of control over their money and even a lack of trust in their parents. Some children may become more selfish, thinking that they cannot keep their money, so they spend it immediately instead of learning to save and manage their finances.

In summary, if parents apply the lucky money tradition inappropriately, it could lead to the development of a utilitarian mindset in children, a lack of responsibility with money, a loss of empathy, and a disregard for traditions.

What can parents do to educate their children about the true value of lucky money, rather than just seeing it as money without any deeper meaning?

Lucky money during the Lunar New Year is not just about the money itself but carries a profound spiritual significance. It symbolizes blessings of luck, health, and success from elders to the younger generation. However, if children are not properly guided, they may view lucky money merely as an annual income without understanding its true meaning. Therefore, parents play a crucial role in educating their children about the traditional values of lucky money to help them appreciate this custom appropriately.

Firstly, parents should explain the traditional meaning of lucky money to their children. Instead of just handing over the money without any context, parents can share the origin and significance of this custom, emphasizing that it represents love and good wishes. When children understand that lucky money is more than just money and is a token of blessings, they will value it differently. Parents should also stress that the most important aspect is not the amount but the sentiment and care behind it.

Additionally, children need to be taught how to express gratitude when receiving lucky money. Parents should instruct their children to always say thank you and offer New Year greetings to elders when receiving lucky money, as well as refrain from opening the envelope in front of the giver as a sign of respect. It is also essential to teach children not to compare the amount of lucky money they receive with their peers or siblings, as this may shift their focus to material gains instead of the true meaning of the tradition.

A crucial aspect of helping children develop a healthy perception of lucky money is guiding them to manage their money wisely. Instead of letting them spend it however they like, parents can encourage children to divide the money into three portions: one for saving, one for necessary expenses, and one for sharing with others. This not only teaches them personal financial management but also cultivates self-discipline and responsibility. If a child wants to buy something expensive, parents can encourage them to save up for it gradually, instilling an understanding of the value of planned spending.

Furthermore, parents can teach the value of sharing through lucky money. A great way to do this is to suggest that children use a portion of their lucky money for charitable causes, buying gifts for loved ones, or contributing to meaningful activities. When children learn the joy of giving, they will understand that lucky money is not just about receiving but also about showing gratitude and compassion.

Parents should also avoid placing too much emphasis on the monetary value of lucky money to prevent children from developing a utilitarian mindset. Frequently asking questions like, “How much lucky money did you get this year?” or comparing their amount with others may shift their focus to money rather than the true meaning of the tradition. Instead, emphasize that the most important aspects of the holiday are family reunion, well-wishes, and the joy of spending time with loved ones.

In addition to receiving lucky money, parents can encourage children to give lucky money to older relatives or younger siblings. This helps them understand that lucky money is not just a custom for children but also a way to express affection and gratitude. Parents can give their children a small amount of money to prepare lucky money envelopes and hand them to grandparents or teachers, allowing them to experience the joy of giving rather than just receiving.

In summary, lucky money is not just about the money but a beautiful cultural tradition symbolizing good wishes and intergenerational care. To help children understand the true value of lucky money, parents should explain its traditional meaning, teach them to be appreciative and grateful, guide them in managing their money wisely, encourage sharing, and avoid emphasizing monetary value. With proper education, children will not only learn to handle money intelligently but also grasp the true significance of the lucky money tradition, fostering positive character development and a deep appreciation for cultural values.