The Power of Filial Piety: A Guide to the Do’s and Don’ts of Vu Lan to Honor Your Parents

The Vu Lan Festival is a special occasion to honor and express our deepest gratitude to our parents. It is a time to reflect on our actions and demonstrate our respect and love for our elders. There are certain traditions and customs associated with this festival that one should be aware of to fully embrace the significance of this day. Understanding the dos and don'ts of Vu Lan is essential to truly embrace this day of filial piety.

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On the annual Vu Lan Festival on the 15th day of the 7th lunar month, what do you usually do to show your gratitude to your parents? Today, we will suggest some do’s and don’ts to show your filial piety. Let’s find out!

1What should we do during Vu Lan, the Ancestor Worship Festival?

Prepare a ceremonial meal to offer to your ancestors

 is a traditional ritual of the Vietnamese people. Each family can offer a or depending on their traditions and customs. The most important thing is the sincerity and reverence of each individual towards their ancestors.

Prepare a ceremonial meal to offer to your ancestors

For more information: ? Meaning of Vu Lan, the Ancestor Worship Festival

Go to the pagoda to pray for peace for your parents

Vu Lan Festival originates from the story of Muc Kien Lien rescuing his mother in Buddhist scriptures. Thus, this is a meaningful occasion for you and your family to go to the pagoda to pray for peace and harmony within the family, strengthening the bond between family members.

Additionally, this is also a time for your soul to rest and slow down amidst the busyness of life, learning to be more grateful and loving towards those around you.

Go to the pagoda to pray for peace for your parents

For more information: 

Participate in the Rose Offering Ceremony

The Rose Offering Ceremony is usually held during Vu Lan Festival at pagodas. Red roses are for those fortunate to still have their parents, and white roses are for those whose parents have passed away. This is a beautiful and meaningful ritual, demonstrating filial piety and reminding us to cherish the time we have with our parents.

Participate in the Rose Offering Ceremony

Buy gifts for your parents and grandparents

Vu Lan Festival becomes more meaningful when you send your parents thoughtful gifts along with warm wishes. Pay attention to your elders’ hobbies and habits to choose the most suitable presents.

Sometimes, the value of a gift lies not in its material worth but in the love and gratitude you hold for your elders. No expensive gift can compare to a happy family, harmonious siblings, and joyful gatherings. That is perhaps what your parents desire the most.

Buy gifts for your parents and grandparents

Call to check in on your parents and grandparents if you’re far away

If you are living away from home, busy with your work and personal life, and cannot be with your parents during Vu Lan Festival, take the time to give them a call.

What matters most to your elders is your sincerity and filial piety. They will surely be the happiest when they receive your call and get to chat with you during this special time.

Call to check in on your parents and grandparents if you’re far away

Visit and pay respects at your ancestors’ graves

Vu Lan Festival is a time to express gratitude and remember your ancestors and roots. Therefore, on this day, take the time to visit and tend to your ancestors’ graves to show your respect and remembrance. At the same time, pray for your family’s peace and good health.

Visit and pay respects at your ancestors’ graves

2What should we avoid doing during Vu Lan, the Ancestor Worship Festival?

Refrain from taking life

In Vietnamese folk belief, taking life during the seventh lunar month will bring misfortune to the family, such as illness, business failure, or disharmony. Therefore, on Vu Lan Festival, instead of taking life, consider releasing life, practicing vegetarianism, and doing good deeds to accumulate merit for yourself and your family.

Refrain from taking life

Avoid doing bad things

On Vu Lan Festival, refrain from doing bad things because, according to Buddhist teachings, those who do many bad things will suffer the consequences. On this day, avoid arguing, fighting, or engaging in conflicts with others. Instead, focus on doing good deeds, helping others, and sincerely praying for your family’s health and peace.

Avoid doing bad things

Avoid holding wedding ceremonies or business openings

According to folk customs, the seventh lunar month is considered an unlucky month as it is believed to be when hungry ghosts wander the earth. Thus, it is best to avoid holding significant events like weddings or business openings during this month.

Avoid holding wedding ceremonies or business openings

Vu Lan Festival, or the Ancestor Worship Festival, is one of the most important festivals in Vietnamese culture and Buddhism. It is a day for children to express their gratitude for their parents’ and ancestors’ nurturing and care.

The Vu Lan Festival holds a profound humanitarian significance, reminding younger generations to remember and appreciate their ancestors’ contributions. It also helps them understand the virtues of being a good child, empathize with their parents’ love and devotion, and learn to love and care for their elders.

These are the do’s and don’ts during Vu Lan Festival to show your filial piety. Keep these in mind to express your gratitude towards your parents effectively. We hope you find this information helpful.

Frequently asked questions

Vu Lan is a time-honored tradition in Vietnamese culture, observed during the seventh month of the lunar calendar. It is a time when people offer gratitude and respect to their ancestors and parents. The festival holds significant importance as it emphasizes the value of filial piety, which is a fundamental virtue in Vietnamese society.

During Vu Lan, it is customary to perform thoughtful deeds and offer gifts to one’s parents. Preparing and sharing a meal, spending quality time together, and offering fruits and other traditional offerings at the family altar are all recommended. It is also considered respectful to visit and tend to one’s parents’ graves, if applicable. As for don’ts, one should refrain from arguing or engaging in negative behavior towards their parents. Vulgar language and rude gestures are also frowned upon during this period of respect and gratitude.

Filial piety is a cornerstone of Vietnamese values, and Vu Lan is a time when this virtue is celebrated and practiced. By understanding and embodying filial piety, individuals demonstrate respect, gratitude, and care for their parents and ancestors. It is a way to honor the sacrifices and love of those who came before us, strengthening family bonds and promoting a sense of community.

Filial piety can be practiced in various ways, even in modern times and despite physical distances. One can regularly communicate with their parents via phone or video calls, send thoughtful gifts or care packages, and make an effort to visit when possible. Additionally, sharing stories and memories of one’s parents, performing charitable deeds in their honor, and continuing family traditions are all ways to embody filial piety.

Traditional offerings during Vu Lan include fruits, flowers, incense, and paper votive objects. These offerings symbolize gratitude, respect, and remembrance. Fruits represent the sweetness and abundance of life, while flowers convey beauty and fragility. Incense is used to purify and connect the physical world with the spiritual realm. Paper votive objects, such as clothes, gold, and other items, are believed to be useful for one’s ancestors in the afterlife.
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