Children with high emotional intelligence are often more loved as they can empathize and get along well with others. They are also good at regulating their emotions and quickly bouncing back from failures, always ready to optimize their plans to achieve their goals.
As Harvard psychologist Goleman says, IQ accounts for only 20% of a person’s success, while EQ accounts for a significant 80%.
In reality, emotional intelligence is not an innate trait or character, but a skill that can be cultivated through parent-child interactions. Children with high EQ often come from four types of families.
Parents who express their love and bond with their children
What children need most is a sense of security and an abundance of love, which lays the foundation for a strong psychological foundation and a stable core as they grow up.
Parents don’t have to show their love every day, but they can subtly incorporate it into their daily lives so that their children know they are loved.
For example, when children are young, it is crucial to satisfy their need for physical closeness. Kisses on the cheek, gentle caresses on the head, and warm eye contact help children feel their presence and love.
Even when a parent is busy with work or other responsibilities, taking a few minutes to talk to their child and offer comfort when they cry creates a strong image in the child’s mind of being loved and cared for.
As children grow older and may not want as much physical contact, parents can still maintain a connection through small gestures. A gentle pat on the shoulder during a conversation, a playful tickle, or an occasional hand-hold let children know that love is always present, even if it is not as overtly expressed as before.
Additionally, using phrases like “I love you” and “Your birth brought light into my life” emphasizes the child’s importance in their lives. These words will leave a lasting impression on the child, making them feel loved and valued, no matter the circumstances.
Families who enjoy conversing together
Communication between parents and children is vital for the development of emotional intelligence. An open and communicative environment allows children to comfortably share their emotions, creating a solid foundation for their future personality development.
When children feel heard and respected, their EQ improves, and they become more attuned to their own and others’ emotions.
To create this environment, parents should set aside time each day to talk to their children. Even a short daily conversation can make children feel that there is a safe space for self-expression.
Parents can choose one or two topics to discuss, such as the happiest or most challenging moments of the child’s day. For example: “Was there anything particularly joyful today? I want to share your happiness.” Or “Have you felt happy or angry lately?” These questions encourage children to open up and recognize and analyze their emotions.
Families who enjoy conversing together.
When children speak, responding kindly and showing attention by nodding and using encouraging words creates a sense of reassurance. Even if what they share is not entirely appropriate, try to be patient and listen before providing feedback.
This shows respect and makes children feel valued. After listening, parents can offer gentle feedback or criticism, allowing children to learn from the experience.
Initially, children may struggle to express their thoughts and emotions effectively, but as the number of conversations increases, their self-expression will improve. They will learn to use language more effectively, build narratives, and even analyze their emotions. Over time, this enhances their emotional intelligence, strengthens their relationship with their parents, and fosters deep trust.
Parents who offer sincere praise to their children
Effective praise can foster independence and self-motivation in children, which, in turn, improves their emotional intelligence. When children receive sincere praise, they not only feel happy but also valued and recognized. This creates a strong motivation for them to continue striving and exploring their potential.
When children are praised for their personal efforts, such as completing a challenging task, they develop self-confidence. This self-confidence is crucial in fostering independence, as children who believe in themselves are more likely to take risks, explore, and face difficulties head-on.
Additionally, appropriate praise helps children understand their emotions better and improves their ability to identify and express their feelings. Moreover, as children learn to understand and share the emotions of others, their emotional intelligence is enhanced.
Parents who offer sincere praise to their children.
Here are some examples of how parents can encourage and motivate their children through praise:
Praising effort
“I’m proud of you for studying hard.”
“You did a great job completing this task. I can see you put in a lot of effort!”
Praising positive behavior
“It’s wonderful how you helped your friend. That was a kind act!”
“I appreciate how you shared your toys with your friend. That was very thoughtful!”
Praising patience
“I noticed your patience while waiting for your turn. That’s admirable!”
“You didn’t give up when faced with challenges. I’m proud of your perseverance!”
Praising independence
“I’m glad to see you doing things on your own. You’re growing up so fast!”
“You know how to prepare your things by yourself. You’re becoming more and more independent!”
Praising courage
“I think it’s brave of you to speak up in class. Well done!”
Parents who don’t complain and control their emotions
Smart parents avoid bringing too much negative emotion into their interactions with their children. Instead, they discuss and address issues calmly and rationally.
In reality, children tend to only remember being scolded and may not understand why. If a parent continues to bring up past mistakes during criticism, the child may become confused and insecure. Instead of solely focusing on criticizing wrong behavior, parents should guide their children on how to improve and handle similar situations, helping them gain a clearer understanding of their actions.
When parents effectively manage their emotions and refrain from complaining, they create a safe environment for their children to develop high emotional intelligence (EQ).
Parents who don’t complain and control their emotions.
Children learn that discussing issues is an important part of conflict resolution and building healthy relationships.
Additionally, when parents remain calm and patient, they teach their children that facing difficulties does not require anger or disappointment. Children learn that listening to and understanding others is just as important as expressing their own views.
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