Raising a Well-Behaved Child in the Tradition of the Past
"Teaching children from a young age, when they are innocent and naive, before habits and negative beliefs have a chance to influence them, is the easiest and best time for parents to educate their children to become filial."
When parents love their children, it is natural for children to be filial to their parents. However, when parents treat their children too strictly, or even with an unfavorable attitude, it becomes difficult for children to be filial.
Especially in such situations, if children can understand their parents’ intentions and reflect on themselves, making improvements, it would be most admirable.
As children, if advice is not accepted by parents, patience is required. When the emotions of parents change for the better at the right time, one should offer advice.
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Treat and care for parents respectfully
When parents are sick, it is the duty of children to take care of them with utmost dedication. If the illness becomes more serious, children should stay by their parents’ side day and night, not leaving carelessly.
If parents pass away, children must organize proper funeral arrangements, not casually or wastefully, and should not display extravagance for the sake of appearance.
Furthermore, children must maintain filial piety for three years. During that time, one should frequently remember and be grateful for the nurturing and kindness of parents.
Eliminate one’s own bad habits
As children, for the things or behaviors that parents like, one should exert all efforts to accomplish them. As for things or behaviors that parents dislike, one should strive to let go of them, make changes, and improve oneself.
Especially for one’s own bad habits, they must be eliminated and one must protect their own mind and spirit.
Many people believe that filial piety towards parents means providing for them and ensuring their well-being. However, in reality, that is not enough. Only when children become individuals with good moral character, who know how to treat others, observe propriety, and differentiate right from wrong, can parents truly be at ease. That is the most practical way to show understanding towards parents.
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Frequently asked questions
Teaching your child good manners and respect starts with leading by example. Always use polite language and demonstrate considerate behavior in your daily interactions. Encourage your child to do the same by praising their good manners and respectfully correcting any misbehavior. Set clear rules and expectations for their behavior and consistently enforce consequences for any breaches. Involve your child in deciding on these rules and consequences to foster a sense of ownership and responsibility.
Storytelling is a classic way to impart values and life lessons in a memorable and engaging manner. Share stories from your own culture’s folklore or personal anecdotes that highlight the virtues you want your child to emulate. Another effective method is to involve your child in cultural and religious practices, such as attending places of worship, participating in rituals, and learning about the significance behind these traditions. This helps them develop a deeper understanding of and appreciation for their heritage.
Foster an attitude of gratitude by regularly expressing your own thankfulness for the people and things in your life. Model this behavior by saying grace before meals, writing thank-you notes, or simply voicing your appreciation aloud. Encourage your child to keep a gratitude journal where they can reflect on and record the things they are thankful for each day. Also, involve them in acts of giving back, such as donating old toys or volunteering, to help them understand the value of helping others.
When disciplining your child, focus on teaching and guiding rather than punishment. Use misbehavior as an opportunity to educate them about the consequences of their actions and how they can make better choices in the future. Incorporate values-based lessons into your discipline, such as emphasizing the importance of honesty, respect, or compassion. Provide natural consequences that teach your child responsibility, such as allowing them to experience the repercussions of their actions without intervening unnecessarily.
Immerse your child in your cultural heritage by sharing stories, music, art, and cuisine from your tradition. Celebrate cultural festivals and holidays, and involve your child in the preparations and rituals. Connect with your extended family, especially elders, who can share their experiences and wisdom. Consider enrolling your child in cultural classes or language lessons to deepen their understanding and appreciation of their heritage.
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